


This Love is Forbidden

by CallMeDeWitt



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Aunt/Nephew Incest, Cause it’s Queen duh, Dany is a writer, F/M, Flirty, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Jon has a lot of problems with his thoughts, Jon is a singer and has a band, Jon loves the band Queen, My personal playlist of music, Panic Attacks, Smut, Taboo, Why?, problems slepping, read the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:19:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeDeWitt/pseuds/CallMeDeWitt
Summary: After moving away from King’s Landing, Jon decided to move to Winterfell. While doing this he formed a band known as “Winter Roses” and they are finally working on their first album.While moving to Winterfell his best friend Dany came with, and is going to college to become a writer. The problem? He’s having thoughts he shouldn’t be having, feelings he should never feel.It’s a forbidden love, but to them it’s something they didn’t think would happen to them... Love.





	1. Pink Lemonade

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE NOTE!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Hi everybody it’s your friendly neighborhood Shawn, and this is what I’ve been working on for a hot second now.... when I have another story I should be doing... yeah. 
> 
> Anyway before I talk about this I need to let everyone know, this story has modern day incest in it. If you choose to ignore everything and blast me in the comments for it, you can kinda fuck off, BUT if this is simply not something you’re into and you won’t be mad it exists, thank you! I know not everyone likes this so it’s okay. 
> 
> Anyway yes this is it lol. I love music and I wanted to do a modern au for awhile, and a taboo story like this, so I did it lol. 
> 
> There should be a song for every chapter, and I highly suggest you listen to them. For example the song in this chapter is called “Pink Lemonade” by James Bay.
> 
> Now I got some people to thank, first of all I have to thank Alice for being the beta for this chapter. If you guys could see what my shit looks like before she even reads it you would want me off this site lol. Alice you’re amazing, talented, and one of the best people ever, so thank you so much!!! 
> 
> And I have to thank Sharon and Katie! Those two are amazing beyond words, and they’re so damn talented it’s scary. Thank you guys for being amazing people!!! 
> 
> Now I’ll shut up now, and let you read!!!

Chapter 1

 

 

“Alright does anyone want to be creative?” An annoyed voice broke through the silence in the small studio. 

 

“You know being creative can’t just be turned on.” Came the reply from the man with the bass in hand. 

 

“Well someone needs to turn it on, because we’re not doing shit standing around here looking good.” The annoyed voice said while twirling a drumstick in his right hand. 

 

“Did you just you just say we looked good?” The voice of one of the guitarists questioned. 

 

“Well more like myself, but me being here makes you all look a little better.” 

 

Getting his head out his notebook and rolling his eyes, the lead singer demanded “Can you guys shut up? And not insult each other for a day?” 

 

“Damn Jon what’s got you in this mood?”

 

“Well, you, to be exact.” Gendry said while tuning his bass. 

 

“And you were late today, so that started his piss poor mood.” Robb said sitting down on the old brown couch with his guitar still strapped to him. 

 

Looking mortified Theon got up and placed his drumsticks down “You know I’m not evil. I know I’m an acquired taste, but I think that makes me even more special.” 

 

Robb snorted “You? Special? Yeah you’re special alright.” 

 

Pointing to his ears, Theon shouted “I can hear you!” 

 

Laughing, Gendry replied “We all can. Do you think that’s supposed to stop us? Theon, my friend, sometimes you can be a cunt.” 

 

Even Jon laughed a little at that one. 

 

“Oh that’s funny? Well how about this. I know why you’re in one of your moods.” 

 

Putting his pen down he looked up at Theon “And what is that… cunt?”

 

Shaking his head Theon continued “You get like that every time you don’t see her.” 

 

“And who is her?” He asked growing annoyed. 

 

Smiling that nasty grin, Theon replied “Dany.”

 

Looking down at his notebook he cringed. Anytime someone brought her up, he got this weird feeling, like he was floating and she was the only thing keeping him down. These feelings haven't always been there. 

 

She was his best friend; one of the only people that could just look at him and tell something was wrong. All through high school she was the only one who didn’t treat him like he was nothing. She would sit there in his room for hours with him and let him go on about some dream to make music. She understood his feelings towards his family too. 

 

And his family? He was a Targaryen, but he never felt like one. Anytime a picture was taken with him and his Targaryen side, he always stuck out like a sore thumb. He had more of his mother in him in almost everything. But his mom always said that he was like his father in more ways than he imagined. 

 

His dad was Rhaegar Targaryen, a masterful doctor. From what he was told and seen, he was one of the best surgeons in all of Westeros. Anyone who needed a transplant or anything life threatening they were all set to him. His parents actually met when her father needed a kidney transplant. He can’t remember the entire story, but apparently sparks flew, and saving her dad was just the beginning of his romantic gestures. 

 

His mother was Lyanna Stark… well, ‘Targaryen’ now. She was studying to be a lawyer when she met his dad. Eventually she dropped out in order to have a family when she got pregnant with him. 

 

He grew up in King’s Landing, but even when he was younger he still preferred the North over anything. School was filled with the preppy kids you thought only existed in the movies, but they existed alright. That’s one of the main reasons he connected with Dany so much. She hated the sense of entitlement that Kings Landing seemed to have, so when colleges started to become a topic of conversation, Winterfell seemed perfect for the both of them. 

 

She was only a year younger than him, and her parents already had a younger child, his uncle Viserys, who wasn’t much older than him. So in a lot of ways his dad was a second father to the both of them. He truthfully wasn’t close to his grandfather, but his grandmother Rhaella was amazing. He couldn’t count the amount of times he would ride his bike over to Dany’s to bake cookies and watch a movie with them. 

 

She wanted to be a writer and Winterfell had a wonderful program for someone like her. Him? School never was his greatest skill. So many nights stressing over a test, having breakdowns because he couldn’t do something right. Needless to say - he dropped out of college.

 

The lecture he got from his mom was a long one. He felt horrible all through high school because anytime he failed a test, it felt like he failed his parents. No matter how many times they said he didn’t fail them, it never stuck with him. Thankfully his dad actually seemed at least a little better about it. When he asked what he was gonna do next, dad already knew the answer. 

 

He and his dad connected over music when he was very young. Rhaegar would apparently sing to his mother when she was pregnant, so maybe that had something to do with it. One time when he was five, he couldn’t sleep and started to wander into his parents’ bedroom when he heard a noise. He found his dad with guitar in hand facing the already lit fireplace strumming some song. 

 

His dad heard him and looked up “Jon, what are you doing up?” 

 

Feeling caught, he put his head down and mumbled “I couldn’t sleep… so I was going to sleep with you two.” 

 

Smiling and waving him over to sit in his lap he asked “Now why couldn’t my little wolf sleep eh?” 

 

Hopping into his lap he replied in a small voice “I just couldn’t sleep.” 

 

”You can’t sleep? Well, you want to know what I do when I can’t sleep?” 

 

Furrowing his brow he asked “What?”

 

His dad leaned over to grab his guitar so he could show him “I play this. It takes my mind off of things… do you want to help me play? Maybe we can put that little mind at ease.” 

 

He nodded, so his dad placed him further in his lap, and put the guitar in front of the both of them. “Okay hold these strings while I strum.” 

 

It wasn’t a good sound by any means, but from then on they had a bond, and he had a dream to strive for. His dad wanted to be a singer like him, but his grandfather smashed that for him, so thankfully his dad let him pursue his dream. Maybe he was trying to give him something his dad didn’t give him. He did have to get a stable enough job though. 

 

Winterfell was great for many reasons. All of his favorite people were there: Dany, his cousins, and his friends. Robb, his cousin, and Theon (Robb’s friend) jumped on the opportunity to be in his band. They needed a bass though, and thankfully Arya’s boyfriend Gendry was just as excited to be in the band as Robb and Theon were. 

 

They’ve been playing for a year now and all they really did was do cover songs, but finally with a little push from Dany to actually do something grander, they were working on their first album. So far they only had one song; they were going to perform it tomorrow at Winterfell Hall. It was a place for a band like theirs to gain a following and learn anything that they could. 

 

The song they were going to perform was something he wrote recently. Luckily no one seemed to notice what the lyrics actually meant, and if they did, they didn’t question it. It was about these recent feelings he’s been having; feelings that have been growing ever since he and Dany got to Winterfell.

 

Maybe they were always there and he just ignored them; maybe since he was away from his family he was different, but no matter what, he shouldn’t be thinking this way about her. He shouldn’t be thinking how much she’s there for him, how smart and amazing she was, how beautiful she was, how sometimes he wished he could tell her what he’s feeling about her, how badly he wanted to kiss her. 

 

He can’t though, she’s Dany, she’s his best friend, and she’s his aunt. 

 

“Told you it was because of her.” Came the voice of a confident Theon. 

 

Shaking his head he got up and placed his notebook down and said “Alright let’s just practice this song for tomorrow.” 

 

Theon backed off thankfully, and Robb nodded while Gendry went to pick up his bass “Let’s do it.” 

 

•••

 

“Alright, tomorrow lads!” Robb shouted coming out of the studio. 

 

“We’re really gonna perform our own song.” Gendry said in amazement. 

 

“We are, and we’re going to be amazing.” Theon agreed putting a hand on Gendry’s shoulder. 

 

“Well, where are we all going after this?” Theon questioned. 

 

“Me and Gendry are going out tonight with the girls.” Robb said opening his car door. 

 

“Ohhh double date night you say? Well I’m going to get some much needed rest so we don’t look like absolute fools tomorrow.” Theon said while waving his hands around. 

 

“What about you Jon?” Robb questioned. 

 

“I’m gonna go home and attempt to write something, and hopefully sleep tonight.” 

 

“No Dany visit?” Theon quipped while smirking. 

 

“Theon, don’t start. I’ve seen Jon get mad before, and trust me, the guy can punch.” Robb said stopping Theon from going any further. “One time all us Starks were at a party and some guy decided to mess with Sansa… needless to say, he didn’t last long at that party.” 

 

“He was an asshole.” Jon defended. 

 

“Hey! I’m not judging, I would’ve done worse.” Robb said with a laugh. 

 

After making sure the schedule for tomorrow was all set, they all went off on their own. Getting into his car, his phone started to ring. He hoped it was Dany, because he hadn’t talked to or seen her all day, but getting his phone out he saw the picture of his mother smiling with blue roses on her head. 

 

He answered “Hey mom.” 

 

“Hey my little wolf!” He could tell she was smiling. 

 

“Are you always going to call me that?” 

 

“Of course, and you’re going to love and accept it too.” She said in her perfect mom voice. 

 

“I don’t know about that but I know better than to fight you.” He said laughing. 

 

“Well it’s good to know I raised you right.” 

 

She did. He thought to himself. It was him who was thinking this way about Dany. Shaking those thoughts he asked her “Well… why did you want to call me?” 

 

“Am I not allowed to call my son and see how he’s doing?” She said defensively 

 

With a sigh he answered “Sorry… I’m just stressed about tomorrow.” 

 

“Jon, it’s going to be fine, okay? All of you are going to go up there and blow the roof off without breaking a sweat. So try and calm down a little, okay?” 

 

“I’m trying but this is big, if people hate it that’s not a good first impression.” 

 

“They’re not going to hate it. They’re going to love you, Robb, Gendry, and… well they may not like Theon, but that’s normal. 

 

He started to laugh loudly at that “You’re right about that one. What’s going on with you guys?” 

 

“Oh nothing special. Your father has a transplant next Tuesday and he’s preparing for that while I’m taking care of my garden.” At the end she got that wistful sound in her voice. She loved her garden, always has. She even got him into flowers a little bit with the constant care they did for them. One time he gave Dany one his mother’s favorite flower, ‘a winter rose’, and put it behind her ear. He can still remember the blush her cheeks had that day. Maybe this feeling has always been there, and he did a better job at ignoring it. 

 

“Jon? Jon?”

 

His mother’s voice broke him out his daydream; he stumbled through his reply “What?” 

 

“I said, what have you’ve been doing?” There was a little concern in her voice he could tell. 

 

“I’m fine… I’m just doing… me.” 

 

“And that is?” 

 

With another heavy sigh he continued “Working, writing, playing, sleeping has been kinda lost on me for the past few months.” 

 

“Jon…”

 

“I know, I know, but sometimes I just... can’t.” 

 

A long silence happened between the both of them before she spoke up again “Please talk about it.” 

 

Putting his head on the stirring wheel of his car and closing his eyes he said “I don’t want to, so please mom, just know I’m fixing it. It’s not drugs or anything like that… it’s just me being me.” And that was him staying up late because he was afraid. Because one night he had a dream about Dany. 

 

She was underneath him looking at him with those violet eyes that fascinated him for as long as he could remember. Her lips looked bruised from kissing and then she said “Please.” Breathlessly, and not wasting anymore time he thrusted into her, Dany’s eyes closed while her head hit the pillow underneath, and her moan echoed in his room. He continued rocking his hips into her and the feeling was incredible. Her breathing was erratic and when he dipped his hand to where they met to find her hard bundle of nerves, she gasped “JON”. It was almost enough to send him over, but he slowed his pace and started to kiss every inch of her inviting neck. Her hands went to his loose curls, and she whispered in his ear “Faster”. Meeting her demands he started to thrust faster and faster. He lifted his head from her neck to see her and the sight of her moving with him and her the movement of her beautiful breasts were sending him over the edge. She locked her legs around him; he grabbed her arms and put them over her head, finding an angle with his hips that made her lose control. Knowing he was close, he found her clit again and started to rub, getting her closer and closer to her own release. He buried his face in her neck and found his release. Her walls fluttered around him as she did the same. Dany’s hand started to comb through his hair while their breathing started to calm down. Every time she whispers this in his ear the dream ends “Wake up Jon.” 

 

Breaking away from that memory he said “The stress is mainly it. I know once we get through this show I’ll be fine.” He hopes at least. 

 

With a sad sigh his mother replied “Okay fine, but please call me more often now. I don’t want you losing sleep so please let me at least talk to you.” 

 

“I will… I promise.” 

 

“Oh your father’s home, RHAE! Jon’s on the phone!” His mother shouted. 

 

“Hey son!” 

 

Trying to get any image of that dream out his mind he said “Hey dad.” 

 

“How are you? Is everything going well? How’s the music coming? How is—“ 

 

Stopping his dad from bombarding him with any more questions he said “Okay dad, one question at a time, please.” 

 

“Alright, that’s fair. How are you son?” 

 

“I’m alright, don’t freak out on me. I’m just stressed.” 

 

“I can tell just by your voice. Is there anything to help calm you down?” 

 

Dany was his first thought. She always calmed him down “I’ll just watch a movie and order takeout. Maybe see if Dany wants to come over.” 

 

“Okay good. How is Dany by the way?” 

 

She’s most likely better than him… actually she is definitely doing better “She’s good, studying hard, sleeping as much as she can. I actually gave her the spare key to my apartment for emergencies.” 

 

“That’s really good to hear. I worry about you two constantly, you know.” 

 

Laughing a little he said “I know you do, but we’re doing fine. A lot better now in Winterfell than King’s Landing.” 

 

He could hear his dad laugh at that one “You two and your hatred for this city still amaze me. Am I going to be able to see this show you’re doing?” 

 

“I think so, Sansa said she was going to film it.” 

 

A long pause lingered between the two of them, and before he was going to question it his dad said “I’m proud of you son.”

 

Why was he proud of him? He hadn’t achieved anything yet, all he’s done so far is drop out of college, work at some record store, do covers of songs, write one song that was not even good in the first place, and he started falling hard for his aunt. What in the fuck was there to be proud of? 

 

Deciding it was best to leave it alone, he said instead “Thanks dad. I promise this will all be worth it.” 

 

“It already is, you chasing your dream makes me happy. So no matter how much you doubt yourself, I need you to know that I’m proud, I’m so proud.” 

 

Surprisingly that got his eyes a little watery “Thanks… I don’t think I deserve that kinda praise.” 

 

“Don’t start, now go and get some sleep! You have a big day tomorrow.” 

 

“You’re right, I better get some sort of sleep. Don’t want to pass out on stage.” 

 

His dad started to laugh when he said “That’s very true. Love you, Jon, and tell Dany I love her too.” 

 

“I will, love you too dad.” 

 

He then heard his mom shout “LOVE YOU JON!” 

 

Smiling he replied “Love you too mom.” 

 

Hanging up the phone he checked to see if Dany had texted him back. She still hadn’t and he grew a little concerned by that, but then he remembered something. That’s right, he knew exactly where she was. Putting the car in drive he set out to his apartment. 

 

•••

 

Coming out of the elevator into the hallway he saw his apartment door. He’s been living in apartment 505 for about a year now, and it may not be the greatest place in the world, but at least it had a laundry room. 

 

When he was looking for apartments, Dany was the one who came with and helped. The living room is what sold her on it, but the view was another amazing piece about the place. He had the perfect view of the city, the skyline was beautiful at night, so falling in love with it wasn’t that hard to do. 

 

Already knowing the door was unlocked, he simply opened it, and was greeted with the sight of Dany asleep on his couch. 

 

“You know I’m not a homeless shelter!” He said loudly to wake her up. 

 

Dany opened her eyes, and he was taken aback at how beautiful she looked again. Her skin was pale like porcelain, her hair – the color of the moon, and it was so long she most of the time had it in a complicated braid he would never be able to figure out. She had the Targaryen eyes that were so blue, they were pretty much violet. Unlike her brothers, she was not very tall, but she made up for that with her heart, passion, intelligence and—

 

“I know you’re not, but you have an amazing couch, and my dorm is being renovated.” Her sleepy voice broke him out of his thoughts. 

 

“I really shouldn’t have given you a key shouldn’t I?” 

 

Sitting up and laughing “Now now, you know I was getting that key one way or another.” 

 

“Yeah, you tend to always get what you want, princess.” He said sitting down on the same couch. 

 

Looking appalled and putting her hand on her chest she came back “You dare call me a princess when it takes you a good hour to get ready each morning?” 

 

“It does not take me an hour.” at her raised eyebrow he lost that battle before it even began “Okay fine, some days it takes an hour, but this hair is a lot to deal with.” 

 

Giggling she replied “Well you’re right about that, but every man and woman would kill to have those curls.” She made a point to take a curl in her hand and twist it around her finger. The look in her eyes was intoxicating, she looked at him like he was the greatest gift she had ever received. Dany sometimes did that though, Arya was the first to notice, but he blew it off as nothing. But maybe he should’ve noticed how her hand glided down his jawline and how she subtly bit her lip. With his heart beating out of his chest he got up from the couch as fast as he could, and went to the small kitchen to look for a drink. 

 

Wanting to change the mood, he questioned when he got into the kitchen “Why didn’t you text me back today?”

 

“Sorry about that. I slept in, and had a test I forgot about, which I passed by the way, and! I’m setting up Missandei with this guy that is in our class.” 

 

Heading back into the living room with two water bottles in hand, he gave one to her and sat farther down the couch “How’s that coming along?” 

 

“Oh, two people who are extremely shy, but secretly like each other, and are afraid to pounce on their feelings, but one of them still expects me to give them more information about the other to see if it’s a good choice… it’s going well.” She said smiling frantically. 

 

“I’m getting the sense that it’s not going well.” 

 

Throwing her arms up in the air “Well, no shit, Sherlock!” 

 

Laughing he replied “Well if I’m Sherlock, does that make you Watson?” 

 

“Oh, shut up Jon.” 

 

Laughing quietly he took a drink from his water, and out of the corner of his eye saw Dany come a little closer to him and asked “How was your day, Sherlock?” 

 

“It was alright, I still haven’t finished the lyrics to this one song, so all we did was practice for tomorrow.” 

 

“Can I see the song?” She asked tentatively. 

 

“Yeah, let me get my notebook.” 

 

After getting up and handing her the notebook, he got to watch her reading the lyrics. Maybe she did feel the same? He asked himself. He wanted to ask, but how the hell does one ask that? Hi! I know you’re my aunt, but do you want to maybe have sex? No, he can’t, he just can’t. So he sat and watched her read what he had written, but he couldn’t help to notice again how beautiful she was. Whenever she studied or read, she got this crease in her brows that could only be described as adorable. 

 

When she spoke,her voice had a certain quietness to it that he couldn’t describe. “I have a feeling I know what it’s about, but I still wanna ask you.” 

 

“I’m not gonna tell you.” 

 

“I knew you weren’t.” She laughed 

 

“It’s a secret I’ll take to the grave.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll tell me someday yourself, but with a song like ‘Do I Wanna Know’ I think I know what it means without your help.” She said giving the notebook back. 

 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” She questioned 

 

Trying not to look nervous he shook his head no.

 

“You’re definitely nervous.” She laughed

 

“Okay just a little bit, but I’m more nervous about the people reacting to it.” 

 

Dany grabbed his hand, looked at him with those eyes he shouldn’t get lost in, and said “Listen to me right now Jon. Tomorrow you, Robb, Gendry, and Theon are going to tear the roof off of that place. You are going to sing with that voice any person can get lost in, while you strum away masterfully on that guitar, and do it with style and talent, because you are seriously one of the most talented people I know, or will ever know, okay?” 

 

Staring at her with amazement he nodded yes.

 

“Good! Now I have $20 and I’m hungry, so how about we order Chinese food and watch a movie.” 

 

Smiling at this amazing woman in front of him he said “Sounds like a plan, Watson.” 

 

••• 

 

“I wanna throw up.” Theon said hammering his head into the door. 

 

Robb scoffed “I highly suggest you don’t do that, Davos is a nice man, and I don’t want him yelling at you to clean up your puke.” 

 

“I can’t handle it man, this is nerve racking okay?” 

 

Gendry squinted at him “What happened to the cockiness from yesterday?” 

 

“It died when we stepped through the door.” 

 

A knock was heard so Jon said “Come in!” the owner of Winterfell Hall, Davos Seaworth, walked in. He was an older man, but had the heart of someone much younger. 

 

“You boys ready?” His voice had a sense of pride to it when he spoke. 

 

“As ready as we’ll ever be Davos.” Robb said. 

 

“Well that’s better than not being ready right? Anyway, you boys go on in ten minutes so I suggest getting your things ready, and going on stage.” 

 

“Alright, come lads!” Robb shouted. 

 

Coming out of the room, and walking in the hallway he could see a woman leaning against the wall. The guys ignored it, but he could tell who it was. 

 

“Dany, what are doing?” He said when got in front of her. 

 

She smiled that damn smile “I wanted to see you off before you went on.” 

 

“Well you see me, now you’ll see me off.” 

 

She threw her arms around his neck, and he gladly welcomed her warmth “Good luck Jon.” 

 

Holding a little tighter “Thanks Dany.” 

 

Letting her go she looked at him and asked “Can you do one thing for me?” 

 

“Anything.” 

 

She kissed him on the cheek, and the fire she set off in him with just that could never be put out even if he tried “Go and kill it.” 

 

“Alright.” 

 

••• 

 

Walking on stage and seeing that the place was sold out and packed made him falter a bit. 

 

Robb’s voice broke through “A lot more people than I thought.” 

 

He agreed with a nod of his head. “Are we all ready?” 

 

“Yeah go and do your thing cousin.” 

 

There were easily 200 or 300 hundred people here tonight, but he saw some familiar faces through the sea of people. Sansa with her phone held high, Arya smiling giddily, Margaery blowing a kiss to Robb, and finally Dany with a proud look on her face. 

 

“Hello ladies and gentleman!” 

 

The crowd gave their greeting back in a loud cheer. 

 

“We normally do covers, but tonight we wanted to show you a little taste of what we’re working on.” 

 

The crowd gave another approving cheer. 

 

“We’re ‘Winter Roses’ and this song we’ll be performing for you all tonight is called ‘Pink Lemonade’. We hope you enjoy.” 

 

With another cheer he turned around to see the guys behind him. He nodded to him, and they nodded back to let him know they were ready. Turning around he glanced at the crowd again just to take it in. He caught Dany’s gaze again and smiled softly, and she gratefully returned it. 

 

Putting his head down he started to focus on the guitar in hand and the lyrics he was about to sing. Finally he started playing the guitar, and the crowd immediately cheered and was ready for the show. The strings felt good in his fingers, Theon picked up the rhythm on the drums, and with a deep breath he started to sing. 

 

“Don't fall into my arms”

 

‘How many times has he told a girl that?’

 

“Don't ask me to repeat it”

 

‘Sometimes he feels like he doesn’t deserve anyone.’

 

“Don't suffocate my heart”

 

‘Always doing something else other than dating, because he felt worthless.’

 

“I don't know what I'm feeling”

 

‘Then Dany made me feel something, something I didn’t know was in me.’

 

“Do you wanna talk”

 

‘I can’t.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘If I did she may push me away for the rest of our lives.’

 

“Swear I ain't got anything on my mind”

 

‘I do, and it’s eating away at me slowly.’ 

 

“I don't wanna talk to you”

 

‘I do.’ 

 

“Don't ask me!” They all shouted at once. 

 

‘Every time anyone asks me what’s wrong I blow it off, and hope they don’t ask again.’

 

“Do you wanna talk”

 

‘I do.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘If I did she’d hate me.’

 

“Swear I ain't got anything on my mind”

 

‘I do, and it’s keeping me up at night.’

 

“I don't wanna talk to you”

 

‘I do, and I never want to stop.’

 

“Don't fall into my arms”

 

‘If she does I’ll ever let go.’

 

“I'll only disappoint you, I'll let you down”

 

‘I already feel like I am letting you down.’

 

“Don't go sounding the alarms”

 

‘What if my family finds out? I’d ruin everyone.’

 

“When all I do is want you” 

 

‘I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop.’ 

 

“Do you wanna talk” 

 

‘Yes.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘God yes, but with who?’

 

“Swear I ain't got anything on my mind”

 

‘I dream of the day where everything is how I want it to be.’ 

 

“I don't wanna talk to you” 

 

‘I do Dany.’

 

“Don't ask me!” They all shouted again. 

 

“Do you wanna talk”

 

‘Yes, but I can’t.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘I’ll never be able to.’

 

“Swear I ain't got anything on my mind”

 

‘I do, and I have to write about it, or I would lose my mind.’ 

 

“I don't wanna talk to you”

 

‘I do Dany.’

 

“Let me wake up heavy head lying in my bed with you naked”

 

‘How many times have I thought of her like that?’

 

“Go put that song on that you love on repeat, until we can't take it”

 

‘I’m a monster for wanting this, aren’t I?’ 

 

“I wanna drink pink lemonade watching movie trailers ‘till’s late”

 

‘Just one night with her.’

 

“And let’s remember all the words that we think are gonna make our hearts break”

 

‘It’s never going to happen.’

 

“Do you wanna talk”

 

‘God yes.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘How do I?’ 

 

“Swear I ain’t got anything on my mind”

 

‘I do, and I shouldn’t, because it’s wrong.’ 

 

“I don’t wanna talk to you”

 

‘Dany, I promise I do.’

 

“Don't ask me” He screamed as loud as he could. 

 

“Do you wanna talk”

 

‘Yes.’

 

“Do you wanna talk it through”

 

‘I can never tell you.’

 

“Swear I ain't got anything on my mind”

 

‘Keep lying to yourself.’

 

“I don't wanna talk to you” 

 

‘Yes I do.’ 

 

He found Dany again in the crowd, and she had a look he couldn’t describe. Staring at her in her beautiful eyes he sang “I'm protected. I'm protected. I'm protected”

 

‘I have to protect myself from it.’

 

“To what I don't wanna have to say”

 

‘But also for you.’

 

“I'm protected. I'm protected. I'm protected”

 

‘I can’t ruin your life. You’re too good for this world to waste it all away on me. 

 

“'Cause I don't wanna walk away” 

 

‘I don’t wanna be away from you, because no matter what you’ll always be my best friend… my Dany.’ 

 

The crowd was deafening with their cheers. Arya was jumping up and down clapping, Sansa was finally able to put her phone down so she could clap and celebrate. Margaery was ecstatic with her excitement, but Dany wasn’t clapping. She had tears in her eyes and was nodding “No”. Next thing he knew she was on stage, and hugging the life out of him. 

 

“You’re my Jon right?” She mumbled in his chest. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Then don’t think I won’t be here with you. It’s me and you.” 

 

Looking at her he nodded “Me and you.”


	2. Do I Wanna Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More is told. Jon and Dany have an important conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles* This was not supposed to be this long of a chapter trust me, but like most things in my life, the unthinkable happens lol. 
> 
> Before we start, I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart. The love and support on the first chapter was mind blowing, and I didn’t expect it, so thank you guys so much!!!! And the song used, that I highly suggest you guys listen to is “Do I Wanna Know?” By Arctic Monkeys. 
> 
> Another thing, and this is very important. I have to thank my wonderful and amazing friend, Alice!!! She makes this readable, I’m not kidding. She tells me “No.” but it’s true. You’re amazing, and I’m more than lucky to have you ❤️
> 
> Katie, Val, and Sharon, you guys are amazing, and I’m so damn lucky to know these amazing people. 
> 
> Alright without any more delay, enjoy!!!

                 _ **Do I Wanna Know?**_  
  
  
  


“You know, I think college wants me to fail.” She said to no one in her dorm. 

  
  


Dany liked to think that she was smart in a lot of things, but math? Math could go fuck itself for all she cared. She normally studied with Missandei, but she wasn’t there for some reason… “Why isn’t Missandei here?” 

  
  


_ Knock knock knock _

  
  


A knock at door brought her out of her thoughts. Getting up to look through the tiny hole in her door to see who it was, she was surprised to see black curls, a trimmed beard that sharpened his jawline, and grey eyes that made her step falter a bit every time he looked at her. 

  
  


It was Jon… her Jon, but what was he doing here at 2:00 A.M.? He didn’t sleep much, but he’s normally writing music at this time. Finally deciding to answer her questions she opened the door. 

  
  


“Jon, what the hell are you doing here?” She said losing any thought of potentially sleeping. 

  
  


“Am I not allowed to visit my partner in crime?” He smiled with a hint of amusement. 

  
  


“Yes, you can come and see me, but at this hour? Jon, please leave and get some sleep.” 

  
  


Pushing her arm away from the doorframe, he started to give his excuse “You’re right, I need sleep, but I…” 

  
  


“But what?” 

  
  


“I wanted to see you.” 

  
  


His voice had a different tone to it than what she was used to, it sounded husky, and… wanting “Why did you want to see me?” 

  
  


Sitting down on her bed, and patting the spot next to him, he continued “Because whenever I need to calm down, I come and see you.” 

  
  


Sitting down next to him a little closer than she needed, she asked “Why do you need to calm down?” 

  
  


“I’m having these thoughts, and… it’s the reason I can’t sleep.” 

  
  


“What are you thinking about? You know you can tell me.” 

  
  


He looked at her with that same look he’s been giving her for some time now. A look of longing, “I don’t think I can.” 

  
  


Grabbing his hand she said sternly “Yes you can, especially if it’s worth losing sleep over.” 

  
  


“I feel this way about a girl; I know I shouldn’t, and if she found out her world would come apart.” 

  
  


Before she even let her mind wander to something only known as jealously, she asked “Who is it?” 

  
  


Jon smiled and brought a tentative hand to her cheek “My best friend.” 

  
  


Tears started to well in her eyes “Don’t say that.” 

  
  


“I can’t fight this anymore.” 

  
  


When a tear came down her cheek he caught it with his thumb.  _ How many times has he done that for you?  _ “She’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and I just want her to know that she’s the reason I still smile.” 

  
  


Losing any sense of control she latched her mouth to his in a fiery kiss. She had wanted to do this for years, but was scared, just like him. His lips tasted sweet, the mix of her tears giving a hint of salt. Reaching to bury her hand in his curls, he grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her in his lap. 

  
  


With both of her hands buried in his hair, Jon’s tongue started to ask for an entrance, and she gratefully accepted. His tongue danced with her own, and her moan couldn’t be controlled. Jon’s hands started to glide effortlessly up her back when he cradled her face in his hands. His hands had a couple of scratches from years of playing guitar, but the feeling of their roughness on her skin was sending electricity through her.

  
  


“Dany.” He said against her mouth breathlessly. She mumbled a “hmmm” while taking his bottom lip in her mouth. “It’s you, it’s always been you.” Looking at him, he had a look on his face she could only describe as amazement. Tucking a stray curl behind his ear she laughed “I know what you mean, it’s always been you.” And with that he picked her up, and her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He turned them both around and they crashed onto the bed. 

  
  


With her underneath him, he started to trail kisses onto her neck. His kisses were warm, and left her wanting to drown in the fire he was setting to her heart. Jon started to move his hands lower around her waist, and lifted her shirt slightly so he could feel her skin. Finally deciding he had enough of that, he lifted them both up, and took her shirt off, leaving her in her bra. Jon threw the shirt on the floor, and took off his leather jacket and white shirt and threw them in some sort of pile on the floor. 

  
  


His eyes were filled with lust, and before she could even look at his exposed chest he found her lips again and started to caress her covered breasts. His hands were maddening in the pleasure they were giving. With every touch her body was a furnace, but his mouth left her own and started to go lower until he found her breasts. While he was doing this, one of his hands was rubbing her other hardening peak, and with the other hand he unbuttoned her jeans. 

  
  


Finally getting her jeans off, he threw them in the forgotten pile on the floor, and continued the pleasure he was giving with his mouth. “Jon, please tell me this is happening right now.” 

  
  


“It’s happening, trust me.” 

  
  


With that he went to work on her bra. Finally getting it off, she laid underneath his scorching gaze. His eyes finally leaving hers, he then looked to her exposed breasts. His breathing was labored and erratic, Jon’s mouth then went to her breasts, and the moan escaping her couldn’t be stopped. The attention given to the hard peaks of her breast was maddening, and it seemed Jon was enjoying this sweet torture he was giving her. Every suck and lick was sending the wetness between her thighs almost flooding.

  
  


Finally unlatching that mouth from her, he then went to work on getting his pants off. “Get these off now.” She demanded, and that devilish smirk he gave sent another wave of ecstasy through her. Finally being able to look at him she put a shaky hand on his abdomen. Dany wondered when the hell this man went to the gym, and why had she never noticed his toned abs until now. He seemed to be sculpted by some god... sculpted just for her. Jon unbuckled his belt with one hand, while he held her hand on him. He slowly put the hand further and further to his hardness for her to feel how aroused he was. Stifling a moan, she unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled them down to his ankles. 

  
  


Looking up at him, asking if she should continue, he nodded, she pulled his briefs down revealing his hard cock to her. An involuntary moan escaped her, and she put a delicate hand around his shaft and started to stroke delicately. He throbbed in her hand and moaned “Dany” like a prayer. Threading a hand through her hair she put another hand around his cock and stroked him faster. 

  
  


Needing more friction she put her mouth around the head and went further down his shaft until she couldn’t go any further. Finally having enough friction, she started stroking him root to tip. He involuntary thrusted in her hands, and she latched her mouth onto his manhood again. 

  
  


“Fuck, Dany, stop, I need you.” Jon grunted 

  
  


Pulling his cock out, he pushed her up further onto the bed until her head hit the pillows. Peppering kisses on her neck, he started to go lower until he gave each breast a scorching kiss, but he went further down, kissing her stomach. 

  
  


“Jon, what are you doing?” 

  
  


With eyes as black as the night, he replied huskily “Needing you.” 

  
  


He went all the way until his mouth was dangerously close to her wet cunt. Jon then started to kiss the inside of her thighs making her writhe under him with want. With one finger he pushed her panties to the side. 

  
  


“Jon.” 

  
  


Lifting his head up “Yes.” 

  
  


“Please.” 

  
  


With that wolfish grin his mouth found her cunt. The feeling was incredible, and she was starting to quiver. No one had ever done this to her, but Jon always had a way of surprising her. With a flick of his tongue across her clit she gasped. A hand snaked its way up her abdomen to one of her breasts, and he tugged on her hard nipple. Trying to find some grip on reality, she grabbed his hand, and flung her head back in ecstasy. He started to give her hard bundle of nerves more attention, her release coming sooner than she thought. She buried both of her hands into his curls, and grinded her cunt against his face. 

  
  


“Jon don’t stop.” She begged 

  
  


His tongue not stopping its assault on her clit, combined with the grinding on his face, it was becoming too much to hold back. Closing her eyes and raising her hips off of the bed, she came hard for him and shouted “JON!” He didn’t stop though, Jon’s tongue delved into her soaked folds, and his hand found her clit again. Her breathing was so erratic, she felt like she was losing her sense of the world, and the only thing that mattered was the man between her legs. 

  
  


He stopped though, backing up from her he said “Wake up.”

  
  


“What?” She frantically replied 

  
  


“Wake up Dany.” 

  
  


“No.” 

  
  


She awoke with a gasp, had labored breathing, and her heart was beating so fast a doctor would be concerned. Looking around her dorm, she realized all of that was nothing but a damn dream.  _ It felt so real,  _ she thought to herself. It wasn’t the first time either, in fact this was the third one this week. When did this happen? When did he become a dream at night? Why did she dream about him, his hands, his eyes, his hair, or his mouth? No, she shouldn’t be thinking that, he’s her nephew, her brother’s son.  _ I can’t stop.  _ She thought to herself.  _ I need to. _

  
  


He wasn’t always some fantasy she dreamed of at night, he wasn’t always someone who made her blush every time he complimented her on something as simple as her shoes.  _ Jon’s simple, he speaks his mind _ , or she liked to think. He had been… different this past year, it felt like he had something on the tip of his tongue, but he wouldn’t say it. 

  
  


It hurt at least a little bit, they told each other everything, a bad day, a good one, an idea for something, their fears. Jon had a fear of disappointment - disappointing his parents, her, his friends - needless to say, he always seemed down. He was good at hiding it, but she knew, she’s seen the panic attacks, the breakdowns, the nights he couldn’t sleep so he would come over to her house, or her dorm. Now though, it seemed worse, he seemed to be hiding it from her. 

  
  


One of the only arguments they’ve ever had was when she found out he was taking sleeping pills without telling her. 

  
  


She went to his bathroom in search for a band aid when she accidentally cut herself slicing a tomato. Finally looking in his medicine cabinet she noticed sleeping pills. Worry and dread went through her, and she grabbed them and walked out to the kitchen where Jon was. 

  
  


“How long have you been taking these?” 

  
  


Looking up from the counter his eyes held guilt in them “I…” after a lengthy pause he finally gave in “For a couple of months.” 

  
  


Brow furrowed and fear setting in she asked, “Months?! Jon why didn’t you tell me?” 

  
  


“Because I didn’t want you worrying about me! I was having trouble sleeping, and now I have medicine! So stop worrying!” That was the first time she had ever heard him yell at her. 

  
  


“Jon, please, tell me what’s wrong?” 

  
  


Standing against the counter, tears started to form “Just me being me, and I hate it.” 

  
  


Dropping the pills she went over to him, and hugged him as strong as she could. His arms circled around her waist immediately, and he held her for who knows how long. “Stop hiding things from me.” She mumbled in his ear. 

  
  


“Sometimes I have to.” 

  
  


He wasn’t telling her everything, and it hurt her to see him like this. She had a feeling what’s going on though, it was what she was dealing with.  _ When did her feelings for him begin?  _ She couldn’t remember, but she had a suspicion they’d always been there, but she had been better at ignoring them. He was always her support, even though he needed it more sometimes. 

  
  


She wasn’t exactly close to her father, it wasn’t hate, but there was something missing. He never understood her love of writing, her views of the world, what she would want out of her own future. Traveling the world and writing was something she planned on doing, and Jon said he would bring the soundtrack along with him. 

  
  


He’d read everything she’s ever written, short stories, her views on the world, anything she put into words - he read - and seeing him smile at something she wrote always felt good. He thought she had a serious talent with writing her own worlds, her own characters, his reviews meant something to her…  _ he _ meant something to her. 

  
  


She was done playing pretend, she had feelings for him that were stronger than  _ ’He looks good.’ _ He did, but it was more than that. The way he looked at her like she was for some reason the greatest thing to ever walk the earth, the way he always wanted her to fight for her dream, the way his hands felt in hers, the way he hugged her, the way his arms felt like home no matter where she was. Jon was fighting it, and it was eating away at him; hopefully she could show him that she felt the same, hopefully the world would let her love him - they didn’t know what it felt like to know him, to be with him - even if they wouldn’t let her, she would still do it. Her dreams included him, and her mother always told her that her dreams come true. 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


After a long day of school she was finally able to head back to her dorm, to hopefully get some sleep. Walking through the door she was greeted with familiar dark curly hair laying on her bed. 

  
  


“You’re really good at that you know.” 

  
  


Getting her face out of her phone, Missandei smirked and asked “What? Laying in my bed, or playing with my phone?” 

  
  


“Both.” 

  
  


“Well, you’re good at insulting me.” 

  
  


Laughing, Dany replied “I know. It’s one of my many talents you know.” 

  
  


Changing the subject, Missandei asked “Well, how was your day?” 

  
  


_ I had a dream about my nephew again _ , is what she wanted to say, but deciding against it, she went with “Busy, tiring, and sleep sounds great right about now.” 

  
  


“Did you talk to Jon today?” 

  
  


Brow furrowed “Yes… why are you asking?” 

  
  


“He’s your nephew right?” 

  
  


“Yes, my brother has a son, and that means he’s my nephew… we don’t see each other as that though.” 

  
  


“I can tell.” 

  
  


What do you mean you can tell?” She asked with a tinge of annoyance. 

  
  


“Dany… I’m not blind, Jon may be though.” 

  
  


Panic going through her “Am I that obvious?” 

  
  


“Well blushing around him doesn’t help.” 

  
  


“I don’t blush.” She said defensively. 

  
  


“Woman, you blush, your eyes also get all dreamy when he talks about his music, just look at yesterday for example. We went to lunch, you asked about the song he was working on, and when he started explaining how the song was coming along, it looked like the rest of the world disappeared for you. So like I said… I’m not blind.” 

  
  
  


Losing the battle she sat down on Missandei’s bed “It wasn’t always like that I promise.” 

  
  


She put her arm around Dany’s shoulders. “Listen, I’ve known you for some time now, and I consider you my best friend, you’ve helped me so much in dealing with my shyness… I still am shy, but it’s the thought that counts.” Taking a second for both of them to laugh, Missandei asked “How long has this feeling been there?” 

  
  


With a heavy sigh she replied, “That’s the problem, I don’t know. I could say it was moving to Winterfell, but the more I think about it, it feels like that feeling has always been there. God, I’m a monster, aren’t I?” She asked tears building in her eyes. 

  
  


Missandei  hugged her “Dany, we can’t control who we like, love, want to be around, or whatever… if half of the stories you told me about him are true, I see why you feel this… he sounds fucking amazing!” 

  
  


The tears that built in Dany’s eyes subsided when they both started to laugh “He is.” 

  
  


“Alright, tell me a good story about him again then.” 

  
  


Thinking about a particular story she could tell for a while, she finally settled on one. 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


She was 15, Jon was 16, and she failed a history test. Feeling terrible she went home, and crawled into bed hoping for the day to end. Her mom came in calmed her down a bit, but she was like Jon in that aspect she guessed. No matter what someone tells you, that nagging feeling of failing and disappointment is still there. 

  
  


What she didn’t know was that her mother called Jon to come over. Back turned to the door, she heard it open slowly, and that Northern voice of his broke through. 

  
  


“If it makes you feel any better I failed that test too.” 

  
  


Turning over to see him, she couldn’t help but laugh a little “You think that’s supposed to make me feel better?” 

  
  


“Well I did say ‘if’.” 

  
  


Sitting down on her bed “Will you sit up please?” 

  
  


She sat up, and with a quirk of her brow she asked “Better?” 

  
  


Jon smiled “Much better.” 

  
  


“You know, I wish I could give you some amazing advice on how to feel better, but I sadly can’t. All I can really say is that, one single test score doesn’t determine your intelligence, because Dany you’re the smartest person I know… that and the test was stupid so you even have an excuse.” 

  
  


Laughing she replied “Thanks Jon, I already feel better.” 

  
  


“Well that’s what I’m here for… you know, I was thinking, the both of us stress out about school really bad. We should probably smoke weed.” 

  
  


“What?!” 

  
  


Putting his hands up “I know it sounds crazy, but I think it would chill us both out, tha—“ 

  
  


She cut him off before he could continue “Are you serious?” 

  
  


Bellowing over with laughter “No! Of course not. Your dad would kill you, and I’m not sure exactly who would kill me, but someone would. My Uncle Benjen did say if I ever needed to smoke some he would help.” 

  
  


“Your Uncle Benjen smokes weed?” 

  
  


Nodding “Yeah, the last time we saw him my mom smelled it on him, then he offered me some… that caused a huge fight.” 

  
  


“I can only imagine my brother freaking out.” 

  
  


Crawling into bed next to her he laughed, “Yeah it was pretty funny. Speaking of brothers, how’s Viserys?” 

  
  


Scoffing “He’s barley at the house anymore. He has his group of friends, and his girlfriend; speaking of girlfriends, that’s where he’s at now.” 

  
  


“Is it the one I met a month ago?” 

  
  


“No, they broke up.” 

  
  


“I like to think he’ll find the one.” 

  
  


“Viserys finding the one? You’re a lot more hopeful than I am.” 

  
  


Staring at the ceiling of her room they found a comfortable silence that soon took over the room. 

  
  


“When my mom does this I feel like a charity case.” She mumbled. 

  
  


Turning over to look at her Jon sighed “Dany, if you’re a charity case, I’m a charity event… it’s okay to have help every once in a while.” 

  
  


“You’re not a charity event.” 

  
  


Laughing, Jon said “Well you’re not a charity case.” 

  
  


Snuggling to his side Jon wrapped an arm around her, and brought her even closer until her head was on his chest. “Thanks Jon.” 

  
  


“It’s no problem… it’s just me and you, remember?” 

  
  


Smiling into his chest, she repeated, “Me and you.” 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


The look on Missandei’s face told her everything “You two have been into each other for a long time.” 

  
  


Putting her head down “I guess you’re right, but how the hell do I even tell him? We shouldn’t even think that way about each other, Missandei… I can’t help it though, and I know Jon feels the same… it’s probably why he can’t sleep.” 

  
  


“I know you two can’t, but the both of you aren’t hurting anyone.” 

  
  


“That’s what I like to think…”

  
  


“Well it’s true. How do you tell him?” 

  
  


_ That’s a great question _ . How do you tell someone you feel something for them, do you even tell them? This wasn’t just some cute singer, this was Jon… her nephew. 

  
  


“I don’t know.” She sighed 

  
  


_ Ding _

  
  


Her phone brought her out of her thoughts. 

  
  


“Who is it? Missandei asked. 

  
  


Laughing a little, “The source of my problems.” 

  
  


_ “I’m gonna get a tattoo.”  _

  
  


Peaking over Dany’s shoulder to look “What did he say?” 

  
  


Furrowing her brow, and typing her reply “Jon said he’s getting a tattoo.” 

  
  


_ “What?!?”  _

  
  


_ “I wanna get a tattoo.” _

  
  


“Why does he want a tattoo?” Missandei questioned. 

  
  


“I don’t know!” Dany exclaimed throwing her arms in the air. 

  
  


_ “Why?!?”  _

  
  


_ “Because I think it would look cool. You’re coming with me tho ok?”  _

  
  


_ “I BETTER!!! When?”  _

  
  


_ “Soon, Tormund is drawing something up for me… you’re gonna love it. Robb is already jealous.”  _

  
  


_ “You’re crazy you know that?”  _

  
  


_ “Not as crazy you Watson ;)” _

  
  


A flood of warmth went through her entire body at his reply. No matter what she told herself, she couldn’t stop from feeling this way, nor was she gonna stop. Putting her phone down, Missandei looked at her with a knowing look. 

  
  


“We have a new nickname.” 

  
  


Throwing her head back on her bed, Missandei exclaimed “Just fuck already!” 

  
  


“I could say the same about you and Grey.” 

  
  


Before Missandei could defend herself, Dany’s phone ringed. Picking it up, she saw it was Margaery. Confused by the call, she answered, “Hello.” 

  
  


“Hey, Dany!” 

  
  


“Hey, Margaery.” She reply, still wondering why she was calling. 

  
  


“I have news!” Margaery exclaimed. 

  
  


“What news?” 

  
  


“I know where Winter Roses should have their new gig!” 

  
  


“Where is that, may I ask?” She said with a furrow of her brow.  _ Jon probably won’t like it.  _ She thought to herself. 

  
  


“My brother’s fraternity is having a party, and they need some entertainment. Now Dany, I know Jon most likely won’t be game… which is why I need you to convince him.” 

  
  


_ A college party?  _ She thought to herself, Jon never even went to high school parties… she didn’t either, now that she was thinking about it. “Why should they perform there?” She finally questioned. 

  
  


Margaery sighed, “This will be good for them, they need as much exposure as they can get. Winterfell Hall is great, but they need everyone in this city to hear about them, so a party with a bunch of college students who are young, and want something new… it seems perfect!” 

  
  


_ Well, when she puts it like that… “ _ Okay it doesn’t sound as awful as I originally thought.” 

  
  


“Dany, these are my boys too, I want them to succeed just as much as you do; so can you please talk to Jon, Robb likes the idea.” 

  
  


“I’ll talk to him, but no promises. When is it?” 

  
  


“Saturday this weekend.” 

  
  


“Jon’s song should be done by now, I know they’ve been recording.” 

  
  


“Perfect! I’ll talk to you later, Dany!” Margaery hung up before she could even say goodbye. 

  
  


“What did Margaery want?” Missandei questioned. 

  
  


“Apparently Winter Roses has a new gig.” 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


Not even bothering to knock, Dany opened the door to Jon’s apartment with her key.  _ Saturday _ , that was only four days away, and knowing Jon, he would want to practice for a month. There was no time for that though. 

  
  


“JON!” She shouted walking into his living room. 

  
  


“Hold on!” Jon shouted back from another room. 

  
  


Sitting down on that heavenly couch she noticed his notebook book open. Curiosity getting the better of her, she picked it up. The words “ _ Cold Cold Cold”  _ were written at the top, and the lyrics followed right underneath. Reading some of the lyrics, she picked up on the theme, apparently there was something wrong with his heart. Dany wondered if he knew she understood the lyrics of his songs. To the untrained eye they were just songs that seemed to be about some love, but she knew… they were about her. Listening to them could be tough sometimes, but this was better than drugs, drinking, or anything dangerous. 

  
  


Jon’s voice broke her from her thoughts “You know I used to be scared when you’d barge into my place like this.” 

  
  


Smirking “Well that’s good, because I don’t have time for knocking.” 

  
  


The smile he wore reached his eyes, and she was again taken aback at how beautiful this man looked. Grey eyes like his mother’s that pierced her soul every time he looked at her. Those dark raven curls that just begged for her fingers to run through. His sharp jawline that she traced with her fingers when he let her. The shirt he wore exposed his arms, and she took notice that she definitely missed the memo of him working out. Toned muscular arms, with those hands she’s dreamed about more than once. Jon wasn’t a big guy, but that didn’t matter, she’d already seen him knock a guy a head taller than him on his ass, because he was harassing a waitress at a bar. 

  
  


“Well, if you don’t have time for knocking, why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” Jon said, getting her out of her own daydream. 

  
  


“Margaery found you guys a gig.” 

  
  


Eyes lighting up “That’s great! Where?” 

  
  


“Her brother’s fraternity party needs some entertainment.” 

  
  


Jon’s shoulders slumped “A college party?” 

  
  


Getting up to grab his hand so he could sit down next to her “Yes, a college party. I know you hate those, but think about the exposure, all those people seeing you guys do your thing? It sounds amazing!” 

  
  


Grabbing her hand a little tighter, he weighed his options,“I know… how many people?” 

  
  


“Margaery texted me today, and said about a hundred people or more… a hundred people with phones and cameras.” 

  
  


“It’s crazy, you know… all of this.” He made a point to wave his hand in the air, “People actually want to see us play… that and drunk college kids apparently.” 

  
  


The both of them started to laugh “I’ll let the guys know; when is it?” 

  
  


Putting her head down “Saturday.” 

  
  


Voice filled with shock Jon stood up from the couch “Saturday?! Dany, we need more time!” 

  
  


“Do you? Last time you talked about it, the song was finished, and you guys seemed ready.” She said trying to calm him down. 

  
  


“I guess, but still.” 

  
  


Taking his face in both of her hands “Listen to me Jon Targaryen! You ooze fucking talent, you don’t need all this time to plan; all you need is a guitar, a pick, and a microphone. The people will follow, I’ll follow, now text those assholes and tell them that Winter Roses has a gig, and that they’re performing a new song!” 

  
  


His eyes held something in them she could only describe as want. Then his gaze tracked down to her lips, and her entire body heated up. He wanted her too, she knew that. His hands grabbed her hips, and he seemed to be fighting everything in him to not kiss her.  _ Kiss me, I’ve felt the same for so long, so please just kiss me, we’ll figure it out I promise, she thought.  _ Sadly, Jon backed away “Thanks Dany, I don’t know what the hell I’d do without you.” 

  
  


Trying to gather herself, she smiled “Me either.” 

  
  


_ Me either _

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


Walking up to the huge house with Arya and Sansa close behind, Dany knocked on the door. She could already hear the party had started, and music was playing, alongside people screaming and having fun. 

  
  


Jon had texted her that everything was ready for them, and they would go on at 10:30, so the three of them wanted to be there at 10:00. Truthfully, Dany didn’t like parties like this either. She and Jon avoided the high school parties, because the people that threw them were… not the greatest people. She hoped things would be different tonight. 

  
  


The door opened and she was greeted by Loras, “Oh my god you guys are finally here! Don’t be a stranger, get the fuck in here already!” 

  
  


Walking in, she was surprised at how big this house was. It had a spiral staircase, a huge kitchen off to left, filled with people drinking, and the living room off to the left was filled with even more people. The droning beat of some techno song was playing, and people with red solo cups in hand were moving slightly to the beat.  _ That’ll change soon,  _ she thought to herself. 

  
  


“Alright, make yourself at home, there’s drinks everywhere, and our superstars are upstairs.” Loras said with a wink. 

  
  


Not even having time to say thank you, Arya was on the move to go upstairs with a shrugging Sansa following. 

  
  


Finally reaching the door upstairs, Arya barged in with Sansa chastising her “Arya, just knock first!” 

  
  


In the bedroom, Robb was sat tuning his guitar, talking with Margaery, Theon was in the corner, banging his drumsticks on the wall; Arya walked right up to Gendry, already demanding a drink. 

  
  


“You know you’re 18, you’re not supposed to be drinking.” Gendry said backing up to the mini fridge that Theon had asked for. Why Theon wanted a mini fridge, she didn’t know. It was best not question him most days. 

  
  


“Everyone in this room knows I handle liquor better than most 40 year old men.” 

  
  


Robb brought his head up “She’s not wrong, you know.” 

  
  


While getting a beer, Gendry laughed “I didn’t say she was wrong, in fact she out drinks me.” 

  
  


Arya smiled, took the beer from his hands, and gave him a kiss on the cheek “That’s why you’re amazing.” 

  
  


Brow furrowed Gendry asked “Why?” 

  
  


“Because you know your place.” 

  
  


A look that could only be described as fear went through his eyes when he blushed and said “I love you.” 

  
  


“Love you too; now, you boys ready?” 

  
  


Standing up, Robb announced “I think we are. Theon has only freaked out once, Gendry seems to be doing Gendry things, and Jon is in the bathroom psyching himself up.” 

  
  


Margaery laughed “It’s crazy because when he gets out there he’s completely different.” 

  
  


Robb nodded “He is; Dany go and check on him, we’ll get everything ready. Sansa, you bring the camera?” 

  
  


“Sure did! Let’s go.” 

  
  


After everyone left, Dany knocked on the bathroom door “Jon, you good?” 

  
  


Next thing she knew he burst through the door with determination in his eyes. When he saw her he smiled “You owe me for doing this.” 

  
  


Cocking her head to the side “What would I owe you?” 

  
  


“Ordering pizza for one me night.” 

  
  


Putting her hand to her heart, “I hereby promise to get you pizza one night… you have my word.” Getting closer to him, she stood on her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek “Go and kill it okay?” 

  
  


Looking a bit shaken, he smiled wobbly “Alright Watson.”

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


Finally in the crowd of people, the smell is what hit her first. It smelled like the worst mixture of alcohol and weed she’s ever had the unfortunate opportunity of smelling. Finding Margaery and the Stark sisters, she walked over to them. 

  
  


“How was Jon?” Margaery asked. 

  
  


“He’s more than good, it seemed.” 

  
  


Margaery nodded “Good, they can get a lot of fans tonight.” 

  
  


“I kno—” Before she could finish that sentence, Loras came out on the makeshift stage, and had a microphone in hand. 

  
  


“Good evening ladies and gentleman! We have an amazing show for you tonight! I know this to be true, because I know them personally.”  _ He really didn’t, he hit on Jon once though.  _ “After the night is over, I can guarantee they will be your new favorite band! So without further ado, I present Winter Roses!” 

  
  


The crowd started to cheer, and the five guys walking out with instruments in hand went to their positions. Gendry with his bass, winking at Arya, who shockingly blushed a little, Robb sharing one of those romantic couple moments with Margaery, Theon calming himself with deep breathing, and finally Jon with his guitar in hand, that had hers, and the Starks’ initials on it, the leather jacket he got for Christmas from his parents, because  _ “If you want to be a rock star, you should look like one,”  _ according to Rhaegar, and his skin tight pants that almost left nothing to the imagination. 

  
  


“Are you ready for it?” Jon said into the mic. 

  
  


With a responding cheer he smiled “Well I have one question…  _ Do I Wanna Know? _ ” 

  
  
  


With that, Theon started the beat on the drums. She already knew the lyrics, but had no idea what the song would sound like. The drums had a sense of ambiance to them, and set the mood. Counting, Jon  strummed the riff of the song. Hearing it for the first time, and how Jon’s fingers masterfully played it, sent that unwanted desire flowing through her like a thunderstorm wanting to consume her. His voice finally came through her thoughts. 

  
  


“Have you got colour in your cheeks?”

  
  


_ ‘I do, and I try to deny it every time, but it’s getting harder and harder.’ _

  
  


“Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift the tide that sticks around like something’s in your teeth?”

  
  


_ ‘My fear is you hurting yourself, because you want to protect me.’  _

  
  


“And some aces up your sleeve?”   
  


 

_ ‘Have I made it obvious enough?’  _

  
  


“Have you no idea that you're in deep?”   
  


 

_ ‘I think I’ve been in deep for a long time now… I was just better at hiding it.’ _

  
  


“I dreamt about you near me every night this week”   
  


 

_ ‘I have too, I shouldn’t, but I can’t help this anymore.’ _

  
  


“How many secrets can you keep?”   
  


 

_ ‘All of them if I have to.’ _

  
  


“'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat” 

  
  


_ ‘They’re the sound I hear every day before I fall asleep.’ _

  
  


“Until I fall asleep”   
  


 

_ ‘Do you sleep anymore?’ _

  
  


“Spillin' drinks on my settee”   
  


 

_ ‘How bad has it gotten for you?’ _

  
  


(Do I wanna know?)   
  


 

_ ‘Do you?’ _

  
  


“If this feelin' flows both ways?”   
  


 

_ ‘They do, just accept them.’ _

  
  


(Sad to see you go)   
  


 

_ ‘I’m not leaving.’ _

  
  


“Was sorta hopin' that you’d stay”   
  


 

_ ‘I’ll always stay… you’re my Jon.’ _

  
  


(Baby, we both know)   
  


 

_ ‘We do, and it scares us.’ _

  
  


“That the nights were mainly made for sayin' things that you can’t say tomorrow day”   
  
  


_ ‘I mean what I say.’ _

  
  


“Crawlin' back to you”   
  


 

_ ‘How many times have we gone to each other when we need someone?’ _

  
  


“Ever thought of callin' when you've had a few?”   
  


 

_ ‘If I do, we’ll do something that people will hate us for.’ _

  
  


“'Cause I always do”   
  


 

_ ‘You do, but please don’t push me away.’ _

  
  


“Maybe I'm too… busy bein' yours”   
  


 

_ ‘You’re mine, no matter what this world says.’ _

  
  


“To fall for somebody new”   
  


 

_ ‘I don’t even remember the relationships I’ve had.’ _

  
  


“Now, I've thought it through”   
  


 

_ ‘Have you?’ _

  
  


“Crawlin' back to you”

  
  


_ ‘You always do.’ _

  
  


“So have you got the guts?”   
  


 

_ ‘I do, fuck anyone who doesn’t want us together.’ _

  
  


“Been wondering if your heart's still open, and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts”

  
  


_ ‘It’s always been open, and no one has dared claim it.’  _

  
  


“Simmer down an' pucker up”   
  


 

_ ‘I will if you want me to.’  _

  
  


“I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just I'm constantly on the cusp… of tryin' to kiss you”   
  


 

_ ‘I’ve seen you fight yourself, you’re scared I’ll kiss you back.’ _

  
  


“I don't know if you... feel the same as I do”   
  


 

_ ‘You should know I do, god, I’m tired of fighting it.’ _

  
  


“But we could be together if you wanted to”   
  
  


_ ‘I do, just make the jump.’ _

  
  


(Do I wanna know?)   
  


 

_ ‘Do you? I know you’re scared.’ _

  
  


“If this feelin' flows both ways?”   
  


 

_ ‘It does, trust me.’ _

  
  


(Sad to see you go)   
  


 

_ ‘I’m not gonna leave you.’ _

  
  


“Was sorta hopin' that you’d stay”   
  


 

_ ‘I’ll stay, I promise.’ _

  
  


(Baby, we both know)   
  


 

_ ‘It’s wrong, I know.’ _

  
  


“That the nights were mainly made for sayin' things that you can’t say tomorrow day”   
  
  


_ ‘I’m afraid of how much my heart needs you.’ _

  
  


“Crawlin' back to you” (Crawlin' back to you)   
  


 

_ ‘I’ll always be there for you.’ _

  
  


“Ever thought of callin' when you've had a few?” (You've had a few?)   
  


 

_ ‘Maybe I need the courage.’ _

  
  


“'Cause I always do” ('Cause I always do)   
  


 

_ ‘How long have we played pretend?’ _

  
  


“Maybe I'm too” (Maybe I'm too busy)... “Busy bein' yours” (Being yours)   
  


 

_ ‘You are mine, and you’re scared.’ _

  
  


“To fall for somebody new”   
  


 

_ ‘The guys I’ve been with never cared for me like you do.’ _

  
  


“Now, I've thought it through”   
  


 

_ ‘Have you?’ _

  
  


“Crawlin' back to you”

  
  


_ ‘Please, I don’t want you to hide anymore.’ _

  
  


(Do I wanna know?)   
  


 

_ ‘Do you, Jon?’ _

  
  


“If this feelin' flows both ways?”   
  


 

_ ‘You have no idea how long.’ _

  
  


(Sad to see you go)   
  


 

_ ‘Why do think I’ll leave?’ _

  
  


“Was sorta hopin' that you’d stay”   
  


 

_ ‘You’re my Jon.’ _

  
  


(Baby, we both know)   
  


 

_ ‘It’s wrong yes, I know.’ _

  
  


“That the nights were mainly made for sayin' things that you can’t say tomorrow day”   
  
  


_ ‘I don’t care anymore.’ _

  
  


(Do I wanna know?)   
  


 

_ ‘I don’t think you do.’ _

  
  


Too busy bein' yours to fall   
  


 

_ ‘I’ll catch you if you fall.’ _

  
  


(Sad to see you go)   
  


 

_ ‘I’m not leaving, you’re wrong for thinking I will.’ _

  
  


“Ever thought of callin', darlin'?”   
  


 

_ ‘Do you want me to tell you?’ _

  
  


(Do I wanna know?)   
  


 

_ ‘Do you?’ _

  
  


Do you want me crawlin' back to you?

  
  


_ ‘You’ve always been the one I could run to, the one who understood me, I’ve lied to myself for so long… Do you wanna know?’ _

  
  


Jon stepped away from the mic, and played the final riff of the song. The crowd was going crazy for them, a surge of proudness went through her. He was finally doing it, he was living his dream. Looking at him, that flow of desire pulled through her again beyond her control. Curls loose from his bun, sweat dripping down from his face, and his eyes locked with hers. He strummed one more time and the song was over. The roar of the crowd was almost deafening, but she could still hear her own heartbeat. Then without her expecting it, he started in on the next song. 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


When it was finally over, the guys came down and introduced themselves personally to the people. Jon stayed for a little bit, but he eventually went upstairs with her following after him. 

  
  


Walking in the bedroom, she saw him sitting on the bed “You did great.” 

  
  


He looked up to her, “Thanks.” 

  
  


Feeling something was off, she asked “What’s wrong?” 

  
  


“Something I can’t explain.” 

  
  


Sitting down next to him, she said “Well, how about I explain it?” 

  
  


His was brow furrowed, but she continued “I know why you can’t sleep.” 

  
  


Before he could speak, she continued “I also know what the songs are about.” 

  
  


A look of panic went through his eyes “Dany, they’re not about you… I promise.” 

  
  


Instead of replying she grabbed his hand.  _ Just say it.  _ Her heart started to hammer out of her chest, because of what she wanted to say. Closing her eyes to try and calm herself, the threat of tears started to form, “Do you wanna know?” 

  
  


Gripping her hand tighter he asked, “Do I wanna know what?” 

  
  


Finally looking at him “If I feel the same.” 

  
  


His eyes widened with realization, “Dany… we can’t.” 

  
  


Pulling him close enough by the hand so his face was close to hers, “I don’t care what the world thinks… I care about you.” 

  
  


“It’s wrong.” 

  
  


A tear came down her cheek “I know… but I don’t care. I don’t see you as that… I just see Jon, Jon who went to prom with me, because nobody else wanted to, Jon who wants me to live this pipedream I have, Jon, who no matter where I’m at in the world… he’s my home. You’re my Jon, just Jon.” 

  
  


His eyes formed tears of their own when he brought a hand up to her face and wiped away her tears, “You’re my home too… I wish it was different… I wish I could give you what you want.” 

  
  


“You can.” 

  
  


Shaking his head no, “I can’t, I’m fine with the world destroying me, but I can’t let that happen to you… you have a life to live, and with me it would only hurt you.” 

  
  


Tears pouring out her eyes, she begged, “Please.” 

  
  


“I’m sorry, Dany.” The next thing she knew, he kissed her on her lips, and the feeling of them was something no dream could ever compare to. His hands came up to hold her face, and it was the only thing keeping her in this world, but before she could even think to continue, his lips were gone. 

  
  


_ Knock knock knock  _

  
  


“Hey guys, we’re dropping this joint, and getting some burgers, so come on, we’re leaving.”  Arya’s voice broke through the room. 

  
  


“We’ll be down there!” Jon shouted. 

  
  


With one kiss to her forehead he said “I’m sorry,” and he was gone. 

  
  


Sitting on the bed alone, her heart seemed to shatter.  _ He thinks he’s protecting me _ , but she doesn’t need protecting, this world could fuck off for all she cared, she won’t give the world the satisfaction of not being with him. He’ll see it too one day. 

  
  


_ One day _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s gonna be ok, trust me. Well there’s that, if you liked it, there’s this cool way of telling me, and it’s call commenting! I promise, it’s clean down there. 
> 
> You can catch me on tumblr if you want to as well @CallMeDeWitt (nice shameful promotion there Shawn.) 
> 
> Btw #JustSayCock2018


	3. Cold, Cold, Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon’s thoughts finally come to light, and someone makes a late night visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks, Shawn’s tired, Shawn has to go to work, BUT! I gotta get this out. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is Cold, Cold, Cold by Cage The Elephant. Please listen to it. For me?
> 
> This chapter is an emotional one, and has screwed with me because of that, so let’s hope it doesn’t suck. 
> 
> I have to thank my amazing, and brilliant beta Alice, who seriously is one of the best people in the world ❤️
> 
> I also gotta thank Val, Katie, and Sharon. For some reason you guys deal with me, and I’m so damn grateful for it.

 

 

 

Splash

  
“Come on, fucking stop!” He shouted into the mirror.

  
He’d been in the bathroom splashing water and yelling at himself for the past 30 minutes. They had another show tonight, and he truthfully didn’t think he was at all ready. Looking at himself in the mirror he thought he looked like shit.

  
Dark circles around his eyes from not sleeping for almost a week, his forehead creased with constant worry and fear, his grey eyes almost held no life to them. After the... kiss, he’d been going on a downward spiral of his own thoughts.

  
Why? Why the fuck did you do that? He kept thinking to himself over, and over. Was it just to know at least one time what her lips felt like on his? Or was it to give her at least one thing she wanted? She wanted it too. That thought terrified him. Mainly because he was afraid he wouldn’t stop her if she tried anything he would give in. I can’t though, I fucking can’t… right? Maybe they could hide it, maybe they could make it work, maybe… no… no they can’t.

  
He hadn’t talked to her since that kiss, and he know she was probably also freaking out, mad, upset. Thankfully for him she’d been busy with school, so tonight she couldn’t make it. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He loved her support, and needed it most of the time, needed her, but he didn’t think he was even ready to see her right now.

  
“Jon! Twenty minutes!”

  
Hearing Robb’s voice at least broke him from his thoughts for a second “Alright! I’m coming!”

  
“Can I come in?”

  
Thinking it over to himself for a couple of seconds, he finally agreed “Yeah come in.”

  
Opening the door, had a look of concern on his face “Are you alright? And don’t fucking lie to me.”

  
Sighing, he replied, “I’m alright.”

  
Pointing to him angrily, “No, you’re not! Look at yourself, you look fucking awful!”

  
Without any chance to reply, Robb continued “I know you’re not sleeping. I know you’re barely eating. I know there’s something wrong! We’re all worried about you, Jon.” At the end his voice cracked, and his eyes shined with unshed tears.

  
“Robb… I…”

  
“You’re not alright. Let me help. What’s wrong? Please tell me!” Robb demanded

  
“I WISH I COULD FUCKING TELL YOU!”

  
With eyes looking sorrowful Robb tried to say “Jon you can tell me—“

  
Jon stopped him with his hand “No I can’t… I fucking can’t. All of you will think I’m a monster.”

  
“A monster? Jon, no… no, no one will think that… we’re worried about you… all of us. Margaery is scared, you know that? Arya is scared. Sansa is scared. We want you better, how can we make it better? Please, tell me,” Robb begged, his voice hitched with emotion, and eyes full of tears threatening to spill on his face.

  
“You can’t… so please just leave me, and let me get ready for this show… please.”

  
“I’m just trying to fucking help you, okay? Dany called me last night and was crying… she said she knows why you’re acting like this… please, talk to her at least.”

  
With that he left him alone in the bathroom. He didn’t want to do that to him. He was just trying to help, and he pushed him away like he was nothing. Dany called me last night and was crying. That thought ate away at him like nothing had ever done before. He’s making everything worse by doing the right thing. It is right, isn’t it? His mind seemed like it was almost in fragments. Sleep had been lost on him all week, and it was hard to even have clear,coherent thoughts.

  
He was just scared. Scared of what people will think of him, of Dany, what would happen if they did it, what his family would say. They’d disown him, hate him… hate her. A sudden wave of nausea hit him. Everything slowly catching up with him, he ran to the toilet, and threw up nothing but bile. He’d been puking everything all week, so there was just nothing left.

  
Sitting on the floor with his head laying on the rim of the toilet, he felt worthless, he felt like nothing but a disappointment to anyone who loved him.

  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He said to no one, but everyone at the same time.

  
Stumbling back to his feet he washed his mouth out, and splashed his face again. He just hoped he could get through the show tonight, and hopefully get some sleep… hopefully.

  
Ring

  
Hearing his phone go off in his back pocket, he sighed having a feeling who it was.

  
“I know why you’re not talking to me.” Was all that the message read.

  
Before he turned it off Dany sent another message “I’m sorry, but just please talk to me. I know you’re scared, but I just want my Jon. I don’t think he realizes how much I need him.”

 

Reading that text a stray tear ran down his face. She was typing again so he kept his phone up. What he saw shocked him a little. It was a picture from high school, prom to be exact. She was in a red dress that flowed on her beautifully, and he was in a tux that he remembers being too tight. It was taken before the both of them left for the party, Dany had her arms wrapped around his chest, and a smile so big, it made his heartbeat quicken again. That entire night was shit for her, but she always said he made it better… he made it so much better.

  
“Remember this? I remember that night being the fucking worst, but guess who came in, and tried to make it better?”

  
“It was you. This boy that no matter what, was always there for me. Thick and thin, whatever situation. The amount of times I’ve cried on his shoulder I should be embarrassed by… I’m not though.”

  
“He doesn’t care, he just wants me happy, and he’s sacrificing his own happiness for me. For me?”

  
“I just hope he realizes that being with him makes me happy… he makes me so happy. Please call me, just call me.”

  
Wiping the tears that came down from his bloodshot eyes he replied “I will, just give me time. Ok?”

  
“I will, just don’t leave me. We promised we wouldn’t do that.”

  
“I know we did. I don’t wanna break it either.”

  
“Good, because I’m not. Now, go and be a fucking rock star.”

  
He smiled, “Alright Watson.”

 

•••

 

“Fucking finally!” Came the voice of Theon behind his drum set.

  
He mumbled a “Sorry” and went up to Robb.

  
“I’m sorry for what I did back there.”

  
Turning his head to look at him, “You’re not alone… Jon you can tell me anything, alright?” Robb laughed, but continued “Remember when we first met Margaery?” Jon nodded. “Well, then you remember how much of a stuttering idiot I was when it came to just being around her. It ate me alive how much I wanted to ask her out, but then someone asked what was wrong… and I told him. Now he needs my help, so fucking tell me, Jon.”

  
“Someday… I will someday. Not now, okay?”

  
“Fine. You just fucking tell me.”

  
Nodding, he went over to pick up his guitar to see if it needed anymore tuning. Not needing any, he checked on the rest of the guys to see if they were ready. Theon seemed to be more comfortable in front of crowds now, which wasn’t good for anyone, because that means he was going to start talking again. Gendry was ready, and asked him if he was alright. Jon waved it off as just stress; he finally looked to Robb, nodding to let him know that he was ready.

  
The crowd was starting to get in their places, and Davos could be seen at the bar with a proud smile on his face. A wave of dread washed over him knowing he was going to have to perform this song. When he wrote it, he had been in bad place just like he was now, and he just hoped he could get through it.

  
“How are we all tonight?” He shouted to the crowd.

  
The resounding cheer made him assume they were in a good mood. “Well that’s good to hear! We have a few songs for you guys tonight, but we also have a new song we’re going to perform for all you beautiful people.”

  
With a loud cheer he continued, “We hope you guys enjoy yourselves tonight! I don’t want my people feeling like shit, you hear?”

  
At another loud approving cheer from the crowd, he looked for the girls. Right up front, Margaery, Arya, and Sansa all had bright smiles on their faces. Seeing Margaery blow a kiss to Robb and Arya giving Gendry one of her looks, sent a resentful pang of jealousy through him. He couldn’t have that… he couldn’t bring the woman he really wanted, have her blow a kiss to him, he couldn’t drag her on stage and steal a kiss just to show the damn world how much he loved her.

  
No. He was just Jon… hopefully that was enough for everyone. It felt… strange not having her there. She was normally the one person whose smile could get him through a show, but tonight it was just him, just Jon. He was going to have to make it work, he was a fucking Stark and a Targaryen, his family raised a man that was going to grab his dream by the neck, and take it. He was good at this, he was damn good at this. Looking at Robb to count all of them into the song, he did just that. Theon found the rhythm on the drums, Gendry gave the song a bass line that it desperately needed, he strummed a few chords getting his head into the song. He then grabbed the microphone, and started singing.

  
“Doctor, look into my eyes”

  
‘Dad?’

  
“I've been breathing air, but there's no sign of life”

‘I can’t do this anymore.’

  
“Doctor, the problem's in my chest”

‘She’s in there, and won’t leave.’

  
“My heart feels cold as ice, but it's anybody's guess”

‘I’m pushing everyone away.’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? 'Cause I don't feel right”

‘I’m not myself anymore.’

  
“Better make it fast before I change my mind”

‘Help me before I do something…’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? 'Cause I don't feel right”

‘I feel like I’m ruining everyone, just by being here.’

  
“Better make it fast before I change my mind”

‘I don’t wanna leave… what do I do?’

  
“Well, it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘My heart feels like it’s dying with every decision I make.’

  
“Darker in the day than the dead of night”

  
‘It feels like darkness is clouding my vision, and her smile is the only light I see.’

  
“Cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘It doesn’t feel like that with her.’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? 'Cause something don't feel right”

  
‘Dad help me, I shouldn’t feel like this.’

  
“Something don't feel right”

‘It’s never felt right.’

  
“Sweet nurse, don't look at me that way”

‘Every time she looks at me I see it now.’

  
“I've seen those eyes before, I can tell you want to play”

  
‘I won’t fight it either.’

  
“Counselor, give me some advice”

  
‘Mom?’

  
“Tell me, how hard will I fall if I live a double life?”

  
‘Is that what I need to do? But I would lie to everyone.’

  
“Doctor can you help me? 'Cause I don't feel right”

  
‘I need help.’

  
“Better make it fast before I change my mind”

‘I should just leave… everything will be easier.’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? Cause I don't feel right”

  
‘Have I ever felt right?’

  
“Better make it fast, because there ain't much time”  
‘I can’t do this anymore.’

  
“Well, it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘I hate myself… why can’t I just STOP?!’

  
“Darker in the day than the dead of night”

  
‘It’s controlling me, please make it stop.’

  
“Cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘Please someone.’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? 'Cause something don't feel right”

  
‘I’m sorry dad.’

  
“Something don't feel right”

  
‘I’m sorry mom.’

  
“Something just ain't right”

‘I can’t help it.’

  
“And as the darkness falls, it fills up both my eyes”

‘I can barely see anymore.’

  
“My life before me like a flash in the night”

  
‘It feels like I’m drowning.’

  
“With my arms open wide”

  
‘Please, Dany… help.’

  
With that verse, he grabbed the guitar, and strummed the solo. Why are you like this? Stop it! He kept repeating in his head. Just admit what you are. Please don’t make me. You want to fuck your aunt! What’s wrong with you? I DON’T KNOW! YOU'RE A MONSTER JON! A FUCKING MONSTER! Finally done he grabbed the mic and screamed into it.

  
“Well it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

‘I can’t do this anymore.’

  
“Cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘Please make it stop.’

  
“Cold, cold, cold, cold inside”

  
‘It… hurts.’

  
“Doctor, can you help me? Cause something don't feel right”

  
‘Dad? Mom? I’m sorry.’

  
“Something don't feel right”

  
‘Dany?’

  
“Something just ain't right”

  
‘I’m sorry.’

  
The deafening cheering of the crowd wasn’t enough to block his thoughts. It’s too much. Sucking up his emotions, he turned to Theon to indicate him to start in on the next song. I need to go home… I can barely breathe. Robb looked over to him with concern etched on his face. Gendry had the same look. He waved them off, ignoring them he started strumming.

  
I just wanna sleep… please let me sleep. Maybe my dreams will be enough.

 

•••

 

Stumbling his way through the door to his apartment, the first thing he saw was the clock that read 12:45 am. Getting the guys off his shoulders was hard, and Margaery pretty much screamed at him to stay with Robb for the night. He convinced them with saying he would call Dany, and she would let everyone know if he did or not.

  
Flopping onto the couch he put his hands on his face to try and stop his thoughts. You’re a monster. Please. You don’t deserve love. Stop. Why would anyone even want you? God damnit please. You’re a fucking monster. Why are still even here? “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know anymore,” he cried.

  
Ring

  
Feeling and hearing his phone, he grabbed it from his back pocket to see who it was. His throat hitched at the name. It was dad.

  
“Hey Jon,” the message read.

  
Swiping his phone to unlock it, he replied “Hey dad”

  
“Can I call you?”

  
“Yeah why?”

  
His dad called and he immediately picked up, “Hey.”

  
“Hey Jon.”

  
“Why are you calling me this late? You should be in bed.”

  
Rhaegar chuckled softly, “I should say the same. I know you had a show tonight. You know, Jon, most people go to sleep after a hard day.”

  
“Yeah… I know. I was actually gonna try—“

  
Cutting him off before he could continue, “Jon, we’re not like most people.”

  
He laughed a little, “I guess you’re right.”

  
“I know I am.”

  
Wondering why he couldn’t sleep, Jon asked “Why can’t you sleep?”

  
With a sigh he began, “I’m glad you have a lot of your mother in you, but it seems you got that problem from me. My problem stems from feeling like I have the world on my shoulders.”

  
“I feel that too… even though my world isn’t as big as yours.”

  
“Don’t say that, you hear me? It doesn’t matter what a person is going through. Your problems are as big as mine.”

  
Jon scoffed, “I like to think that, but my job doesn’t require saving lives. My problems are…”

  
“What are they, tell me.”

  
“They’re me… They’re me.”

  
It felt like something was grabbing his throat and was choking the life out of him. “Jon… what’s wrong? Tell me son.”

 

Tears started to build in his eyes “I wanna tell you. I do, I really do, but even if I tell you, I’m sure that’s just one of my problems.”

  
“Alright then tell me another one. Just tell me something, Jon.”

  
“I can’t sleep because my thoughts keep me up at night.”

  
“What do they say?”

  
Looking up to the ceiling, while more tears built in his eyes, he replied. “That I’m worthless. That I’m nothing more than just a disappointment in everyone’s eyes.”

  
The worry in his dad’s voice could be heard, as well as felt “You’re not a disappointment. What can I say to make you not think that? Because in my eyes you’re my biggest achievement. No award for being a surgeon can compare to the feeling I get when I get call you my son.”

  
Tears fell down from his eyes. “I know… I know dad, but they won’t stop. Dad, they won’t stop. What’s wrong with me?”

  
“Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing! You just have my mind.”

  
“What do you mean?”

  
Hearing him sigh, he continued “I have that exact problem. Growing up in my household there was either being perfect or worthless. Thankfully, my mom helped me, but having that sense of wanting to make everyone happy followed me… hell, it still does.”

  
“I know you didn’t wanna be a doctor.”

  
“You’re exactly right. I wanted to make music ever since I could pick up a guitar. Not living that hurt… it hurt a lot, but I needed to do something to better my future. It worked out in the end, though. I met your mom, we had you. Son, everything works out in the end. It may not look like it now… but it does.”

  
I hope you’re right “You think so?”

  
“I know so. You’re already doing something incredible, and that’s actually living a life you wanna live.”

  
Am I? “It’s still hard. I just wanna sleep, dad.”

  
“You will… you will, I promise.”

  
Feeling just slightly better, “Thanks dad… thanks for calling… I needed this,” Jon said

  
his dad chuckled softly “Jon, that’s why I’m here, that and we can’t sleep, but we’re gonna try after this, right?”

  
Smiling a little, he replied, “Yeah we will.”

  
“Oh! One more thing.”

  
He furrowed his brow, “Yeah What is it?”

  
“Your mother and I are coming up to Winterfell next month!”

  
Jon felt a sense of panic wash over him like a rainstorm “What?”

  
“Yeah, next month. We wanna see you, Dany, everyone!”

  
Why am I freaking out? “Oh… that sounds nice… uh do you guys have a place to stay?”

  
“We’ll stay with the Starks… you ok, Jon?”

  
I can’t breathe “Yeah I’m fine. Talk to you later, love you!”

  
“Love you—“

  
Hanging up on him before he could finish, he threw the phone on the couch. I can’t breathe. His heart felt like it was coming out of his chest, and his hands were shaking. Why? The question was going through his head. You know why. No. Yes. You don’t wanna see your family because of what you feel for her. NO! Falling down onto the couch his entire body started to shake, fear controlling him like a puppet. Breathing erratic, he needed a distraction from what he was feeling. Anything, fucking anything.

  
He turned on the TV to some movie, he watched it for a couple of seconds, but it wasn’t working. Getting up to get his headphones, he plugged them into his phone, found Queen, and played Radio Ga Ga. It’s not working. It’s not fucking working. Throwing his headphones onto the floor he slumped back into the couch, and looked up to the ceiling. Please stop. I just want it to stop. He looked to his left, and his phone was still on, so he could see the background.

  
It was a picture of him and Dany at Winterfell Hall. It was the show where they performed their first song, where she ran up on stage and hugged him. Arya took the picture, and sent it to him that night. Maybe she’s up. With a fleeting hope he grabbed the phone and called her. After a few rings she picked up, obviously sounding tired.

  
“Hello?”

  
“Dany?” He said frantically.

  
“Jon!” She said shocked.

  
“Can you talk?”

  
“Yeah of course. What happened? Jon, it’s almost 1:00 am”

  
“Just tell me what you did today. I need to calm down.”

  
He assumed a sense of realization hit her, because she said “Oh god, you’re having another one?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“Ok, ok um I got up at a decent hour, which shocked Missandei. We got up, and had breakfast at the coffee shop nearby. Missandei tried this coffee, and didn’t put any sugar in it, so it was funny watching her freak out about that.”

  
That got a slight smile out of him. She continued, “Then I had a biology test, which I passed with flying colors by the way. Then I wrote some ideas down I had for some stories I wanna write.”

  
His breathing was returning to normal and the shaking was easing up “What ideas?”

  
“Just some stuff I need to work on. One of them is a murder mystery, and the murderer falls in love with the detective who’s investigating him.”

  
He chuckled, “Really now?”

  
“Yes really. When I write it you’re gonna love it.”

  
Ok, I can breathe “You know I will.”

  
“Are you feeling better?” She asked with concern in her voice.

  
He did. He really did. There were a few times he had panic attacks, and Dany was always the one that calmed him down. She could talk about anything, it was her voice that eased him from his inner panic. “Yeah… I’m better.”

  
“I’m coming over.”

  
“What? Dany, no. You don’t need to do that.”

  
“I am. Now stay up cause I’m on my way.”

  
Before he could tell her no again, she hung up on him. Damnit. He still wasn’t ready to see her. The last time they were alone together he kissed her.

  
I’m not ready, god, I’m not ready.

 

•••

 

Checking the time he saw it was 1:30 am, and he was starting to question if Dany was even coming. On one hand he wanted her there, but on the other he didn’t. His fucking head hurt just thinking about anything.

  
Rattling from his door could be heard, which meant that Dany was here. She bust through the door in her pajama pants, shoes, and a jacket. Before he could say anything, she jumped on him, hugging the life out of him.

  
“Don’t leave me. You hear me?” She mumbled into his neck.

  
With both of his arms, he circled them around her waist, and brought her closer. He inhaled her scent, and got lost in the feeling of her in his arms. It was the first time he had felt good in the past week.

  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered in her ear.

  
Moving herself until she was completely in his lap, with both of her legs on either side of him, she raised her head to look at him.

  
“You look like shit.” She simply said.

  
Smiling just a little, he replied, “Well, I’ve felt like shit.”

  
Bringing a hand up to brush the curls out from his eyes, she smiled, “You still look good in a weird way.”

  
“How is that?”

  
“You still look like my Jon.”

  
His throat hitched, “Dany…”

  
She shushed him with a finger to his lips. She slowly started tracing his jawline “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

  
“I wouldn’t say that.”

  
“That’s why I’m saying it.”

  
She unzipped her jacket revealing her white tank top underneath leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She threw it to the side, looking almost shy.

  
“You’re beautiful too.” He said softly.

  
She smiled, bit her bottom lip, and said quietly “Thank you.”

  
His heart was starting to beat out of his chest with her in his lap. Her silver hair cascaded around her face perfectly. Dany’s eyes were dark with forbidden lust, and her nipples were showing through her shirt. He looked at her breasts, and she caught his eye. Dany grabbed his hand, and put it on her breast “I know you want me.”

  
With that she grinded in his lap feeling his harness “You can’t deny it either.” Palming her breast with his hand she arched further into his crotch making him harder than he should be. Stop, we can’t. Was what he wanted to say, but it got stuck in his throat when she looked up to the ceiling grinding on his cock and said “Jon” like a prayer.

  
Finally finding some sense of control, he took his hand off her breast “Dany, we can’t.”

  
Looking down at him, “Jon, I don’t care. They don’t know what this is like. They don’t know how you make me feel.”

  
“I want this, I want all of this, but we can’t, Dany. What about our family?”

  
She looked away from him, her eyes seemed to be forming tears “I know… I know, but… I can’t help it.” Finally looking at him with tears in her violet eyes he could get lost for the rest of his life, she said “You make me. You make me so happy Jon. They’ll see that, I promise, they’ll see Jon.”

  
I’m losing control “I… want to say you’re right, but—“ she shut him up with her lips on his in a searing kiss that sent warmth through every inch of his body. Her lips had a taste of salt from her tears, and all through his mind was I don’t wanna make her cry anymore. Losing any control he had he finally gave in and returned the kiss. Kissing her mouth greedily, like she was always his, he caught her bottom lip, and his tongue asked for entrance. She more than welcomed him.

  
Their tongues danced together like it was the most natural thing they’ve ever done. Her moan into his mouth sent animalistic desire through him, so he grabbed her face with his hands, and she held onto his shoulders. Their kiss became sloppy, and his hard cock was growing to be uncomfortable in his jeans. She unlaced her tongue from his, and nuzzled in his ear “Take me to bed.”

  
You shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t. I know. She’s your aunt. I know. You’re going to be a monster. I don’t care anymore. Having her like this was the first time he actually felt… at peace. She was the fire to his cold heart he hated, and every second with her was melting that cold heart chunk by chunk. Grabbing her by the waist he got up from the couch, and her legs wrapped around his waist like she’d done this dance before. He caught her mouth with his again and walked her to his bedroom, shutting the door with his foot.

  
Setting her down on his bed, her breathing was labored, and her lips were bruised from their kissing. Her face was flushed pink, her eyes almost completely black with lust, her hair flowing around her as if she was a goddess. She’s the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth, he thought to himself “You’re so beautiful.”

  
Smiling one of her smiles that stopped his heart for a second, he said “Come back down here.”

  
Meeting her demands, he kissed her again, while taking off his shirt. Her hands snaked their way to his chest, and clawed him. Throwing the shirt in some pile on the floor, he stood there on his knees bare chested in front of her. One hand delicately touched his hard abs, and she looked at him. Taking her hand away, he unbuckled his belt with one hand, and unbuttoned his pants. He took them off, throwing them in the same pile, and he found her lips again.

  
Stopping his assault on her lips, he kissed her jaw until he found the pulse of her neck and kissed it. “Oh Jon,” she said breathlessly. While he was doing that, his hands went to her sides, and started to glide up until her tank top was off. Looking at her with her breasts fully exposed, blood surged to his already hard cock. Taking one of them into his mouth greedily, he kissed and sucked on her hard nipple while her back arched into his more than willing mouth. Not wanting to forget the other one he repeated the same action. “Jon!” Her moans were egging him on to do more, so while trailing kisses as hot as fire down her chest, he took off her pants leaving her in a pair of black panties.

  
“Jon, please.” She begged.

  
Whispering in her ear he asked “Please what?”

  
“I want you.”

  
Sliding a hand to her already wet cunt, he said,“I want you too.”

  
She moaned and brought a hand up to his face looking at him in the eyes “I’ve wanted this for so long. Please tell me it’s real.”

  
He dipped his hand into her panties to rub her soaked folds. “It’s real, I promise it’s real.”

  
Finally taking her panties off, he did the same with his briefs. He nudged her legs apart, and fit in between her thighs perfectly. He wanted to give her everything he could, but he needed her first… he needed her. Touching his forehead to hers, she looked up at him. A stray tear came down her face. He caught it like he always did, and she said “I wanna be yours.”

  
Nodding slowly, he grabbed his cock, and slided it in effortlessly. She was tight, and warm, so warm. Her mouth opened, and formed an O shape when he started to thrust inside of her. His dreams didn’t come close to what she really felt like. She was perfect in every way, and he’d loved her so long he couldn’t remember not loving her. Love is such a simple word. It was four letters, one syllable, easy to say, but it meant everything. She means everything. Her moans and gasps of pleasure were something no man or woman could ever dream of. The feeling of her around him was something he felt like he didn’t deserve.

  
Her fingers buried in his curls, “Jon don’t stop,” she demanded. His thrusts were growing wilder and out of control, and he knew he wouldn’t last longer. His hand went to where they connected to massage her hard clit. “JON!” Losing sense of the world, he hammered into her faster, willing her to moan louder and louder. “Dany,” he gasped as if he was praying to her. While rubbing her clit, he buried his face into her neck, and her legs wrapped around him. With her release coming, and her walls fluttering around him, she reached her peak gasping his name. It became too much, so with one final thrust he spilled inside her, and she grabbed his ass welcoming every last drop he could give her.

  
Face hidden in her neck, it felt like a ten ton weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. You did it, you really fucking did it. I know. You just ruined her life. I know. You’re a monster. I know. As if reading his mind Dany spoke up, “You didn’t ruin my life.”

  
Finally getting his face from out of her neck, “I did,” he said, voice thick with emotion.

  
Grabbing his face she kissed him like her life depended on it “You could never ruin my life.”

  
Resting his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes. Part of him was scared of what the morning was going to bring. Scared of what the world would bring their way if anyone found out, but the other? He felt at peace. It finally felt like something made sense. Being with her made sense, and it felt good… so good to have her. Shit. Realizing what he had done, he finally took his softened cock out of her.

  
“I’m on birth control, don’t worry.”

  
The worry going away in an instant, he fell onto the bed next to her “Thank god.”

  
Turning over on her side to look at him she smiled, “Yeah that’s the last thing we needed.”

  
“So, what next? We just did—“

  
Cutting him off with a finger to his lips, “We’ll figure it out, but… tonight I just want it to be about us.”

  
He nodded weakly “Ok… ok.”

  
He laid on his back, and she put her head on his chest, while he wrapped an arm around her. Peace. His mind finally felt at peace. He should stop this right now, he knew it, but… with Dany holding onto his chest, and nuzzling him… he couldn’t, he just ccouldn’t.

  
“Sleep, Jon.”

  
Kissing her the top of her head “I will… I promise.”

  
Closing his eyes he could feel the void of sleep almost hit him immediately.

  
I can sleep… I can sleep.

 

•••

  
“Hey Jon!”

  
Turning around from the punch bowl he saw Edric coming over with cup in hand, and some sort of cheese on a toothpick.

  
“How do you always find cheese?”

  
Slapping him on the shoulder, “It’s one of my many talents!”

  
Jon scoffed, “Talents? What are those exactly?”

  
“Well Jon, they include fencing, poetry, talking. Oh—“

  
Grabbing both of his shoulders Jon got close to Edric’s face “I was joking. I don’t wanna hear about your talents.”

  
“Well, you need to be specific.”

  
“Sure I do.”

  
“Anyway! Where’s that beautiful girl that seemed to be your date?”

  
Fuck “Look, don’t laugh ok?”

  
He giggled, “I may laugh, but tell me anyway.”

  
Sighing “Fucking asshole, anyway she came up to me, and asked for a dance—“

  
Interrupting him, Edric said “Well that’s good! Why would I laugh?”

  
“Let me fucking finish. She wanted to make this guy jealous… it worked, and I think they’re fucking in his car.”

  
Edric actually seemed remorseful “Damn, Jon, that… that sucks.”

  
“Yeah whatever, at least someone is happy tonight, I guess.”

  
Edric put a hand on his shoulder “Jon, you need to stop letting the world walk all over you.”

  
He’s right, you know. Shaking his head, he blew him off by saying “Yeah, but it’s just easier that way.”

  
“Jon, damnit… wait, is that Daario?”

  
Looking over to where he was pointing, he saw Daario getting handsy with another girl. His date was Dany tonight… the fuck? Walking over to him immediately with Edric close behind, he yanked him by the shoulder so he could get in his face “What are you doing?” He snarled

  
Daario chuckled. “Look Jon, this isn’t what it looks like.”

  
“No, I think it’s actually what it looks like.”

  
The girl walked away with a look of disgust pointed directly to Daario “Thanks, asshole.”

  
Edric scoffed “Thanks, asshole? Why the fuck aren’t you with Dany right now?”

  
“Go and ask her, she’s the prude who doesn’t wanna have fun.”

  
Resisting every urge to clock this dickhead in the jaw, he demanded “Where is she?”

  
“I don’t fucking know, ok? I think she’s in some hallway probably crying, because no one understands her.”

  
Fuck it. With every fiber of strength he punched him square in the face. His right fist hurt, but he was sure Daario’s jaw hurt more.

  
“Jon, what the fuck?” Edric exclaimed.

  
“God damnit! What the fuck is wrong with you Targaryens?!”

  
Storming off, and hearing Edric call after him, he went to find Dany. They didn’t even want to go. Daario asked Dany out, and with both of their families combined they convinced them to go. Should’ve just stayed home, the thought rang through his head.

  
Finally in the hallway, lockers was all he could see, but he finally saw a hint of silver hair and a red dress on the floor with her head in her hands. Running over to her, he shouted “Dany!”

  
She looked up at him, and she actually didn’t look like she was crying “Are you ok?”

  
“Yes I’m ok, I just feel like I wasted my time.”

  
“Were you crying?”

  
She had a furrow to her brow when she replied “No, I’m not crying, I’m fucking tired. Daario is a piece of shit, and I know that, so if you think you’re gonna say something I don’t already know… I know.”

  
Sitting down next to her he questioned “Then why did you go with him?”

  
Sighing, she looked up, “I don’t know… I guess I just wanted…”

  
“What?”

  
“I don’t… I guess I just wanted to feel something.”

  
He put an arm around her shoulder, and she set her head on his shoulder “Well, let’s never feel something like that again.”

  
Feeling her nod against his shoulder, she replied, “Alright. Take me home.”

  
He laughed softly “Which one?”

  
“The one with you.”

  
He kissed the top of her head and nodded, “Alright, let’s go home.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... that’s that right? 
> 
> If you wanna say something, let me know in the comments. I promise I’m cool... kinda... ok not really. Just let me know what you think! 
> 
> I also have tumblr @CallMeDeWitt.... don’t know what you'll do with that but hey.


	4. Radio Ga Ga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what they've done, and a visit takes place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me this shouldn't have taken me this long lol.
> 
> Long story short the original chapter didn't work. It wasn't fitting with what I had planned, so yeah.... a million years later this is finally getting posted.
> 
> Like every chapter I highly suggest listening to the song used, and this is no different. The song used is "Radio Ga Ga" by Queen. This is one of my favorite songs of all time, and Queen is one of favorite bands of all time, so i had to use something lol.
> 
> Now I have to thank some very important people in my life. First is Alice. She told me what i needed to know with this chapter, and pretty much this entire story lol. Her help is something I could only dream of, and this story would be un-readable without her, so thank you Alice... for everything.
> 
> You most likely noticed that beautiful moodboard also. Well Shawn here didnt make it I'll tell you. That was the work of Sharon who is an angel like omg. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! It's so beautiful I can barely put it into words. 
> 
> Also, Val, Katie, and Mim, thank you so much for everything you guys do for me. I'm so grateful to have you guys. Btw, Love... I love you everywhere ;)
> 
> Alright I'll shut up. Enjoy everyone!!!!
> 
> (Valyrian translations in the end notes.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

      
  


Sleep… it’s a simple thing really. Close your eyes, calm your mind, and sleep for a couple of hours, wake up well rested and ready to start the day. Him? He hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest in years. His mind won’t stop sometimes. These thoughts… these thoughts hurt, they plagued him, making him think he was worthless, nothing, a monster.  _ I just want sleep.  _ Is what he begged for every night. 

  
  


Some days Dany would still be up late at night and would talk to him. That helped at least. He felt like a fucking charity case, constantly needing someone to check on him to make sure he’s ok, make sure he hadn’t hurt himself… it was tiring. This is not the life he saw himself having. Taking sleeping pills, being anxiety ridden, depressed…  _ fuck, he’s letting everyone down he knows it. _ They all wanted him happy, vibrant, living happily ever after in some sort of musical bliss, and here he was: not sleeping, not eating, just suffering. 

  
  


The sun hitting his closed eyes started to wake him from his sleep.  _ Sleep?  _ Did he actually sleep last night? Opening his eyes he saw he was in his room, looked to the window and could see a rare sun in Winterfell. It was normally never sunny,  _ that’s odd _ , he thought. What was odder was the feeling of someone tracing their fingers on his abdomen. Looking down to his side he saw who was causing it. 

  
  


_ Dany?  _

  
  


Her head was on his chest, her long silver hair was out of her normal bun or braid, and was spread everywhere on him.  _ She looks so peaceful.  _ She snuggled closer to his side, and it cracked the ice in his heart that was already melting. She looked so beautiful it hurt sometimes. Her smooth porcelain skin looked radiant in the sun,  _ she’s so beautiful, _ he thought to himself for the millionth time.  _ Too beautiful to be real. _ It was not just her looks though, that was the last thing he saw, truthfully. He saw her heart, he saw how much she cared for people, and it still astonished him how much love one person could give to someone as broken as him. 

  
  


“I remember when you got this done.” 

  
  


Her sweet voice casted him away from his thoughts, while she was tracing the wording on his ribs. “I do too. Mom was terrified, but dad so excited.” 

  
  


What  _ that _ was, was his tattoo. He got it done when he turned 19, and his mom was on the fence about it, but his dad loved the idea. It was on left side, just on his ribs. It read ‘ _ promise’ _ in Valyrian. His ancestors used to speak this ancient language no school taught anymore, but him and Dany loved it. When they were kids they learned enough to have a conversation, and it would make Viserys angry, because he never knew what they were saying. It was like a secret language to them, no one could understand, so it made it all the more fun in high school when Dany would call one of the popular girls an ‘Aspo’. 

  
  


It was a promise to his family. A promise to his mom and dad, a promise to the Starks, a promise to the Targaryens, and even a promise to the Daynes, and a promise to Dany. A promise that he would always be there, even if some days he broke that promise, he would always be there. 

  
  


“I loved the idea… it was just so… you.” With that her beautiful violet eyes looked at him. They held so much emotion to them it was starting to worry him. “You still mean it, right?” She said with her voice laced thick with emotion. 

  
  


“Nyke kivio.” 

  
  


He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, she closed her eyes, and leaned into his touch, “Nyke kivio tolī.” She promised as well. 

  
  


Not wanting to break their safe little bubble they created in his room, but the lingering question was still there “What do we do now?” 

  
  


Opening her eyes she looked away from him, to the window “We just… we will figure it out, I promise.” 

  
  


“Dany…”

  
  


“I know, but we will, ok?”

  
  


Everything about this was difficult. Nothing about what they were doing had a happy ending, and it would most likely ruin the both of them, but… he knew they both couldn’t stop. He could fight it, lose sleep, stop eating, but it would always be like this. Maybe in some other life they had been together, and they had just found each other again. Maybe every life they had lived they were destined to find each other. That’s what he liked to think anyway. 

  
  


“Do you think this was all planned?” Dany asked putting her head back on his chest. 

  
  


“I ask that question a lot actually… I still haven’t found the answer though.” He said while tracing an imaginary line on her arm. 

  
  


“It’s just… it’s been you… it’s always been you.” 

  
  


“What do you mean?” 

  
  


“I mean… it’s always been you. No matter what, it’s always been you. The one person I know I could tell anything to, the one person who’s shoulder I’ve cried on too many times to count, the one person who’s always loved  _ me. _ ” With that she finally looked at him again “You don’t just love someone. I’ve seen you love before. You love your family, your cousins, your friends, you don’t just love someone, Jon.” 

  
  


Furrowing his brow he questioned “What are you saying?” 

  
  


She put a delicate hand on his heart “I’m saying, that I’ve always known you loved me, I’ve just ignored it all.” 

  
  


“Have I ignored it too?” 

  
  


She smiled just slightly “I love you Jon… I always have.” 

  
  


Emotion feeling him to the brim, he got up and caught her lips with his own in a searing kiss. She felt like home, she always did though. Living in King’s Landing almost all his life, she was the person that he could go to. Even if some days he didn’t want to, because he felt like he was bringing her down into this hole of wallowing that he hated. No, she still stood there with him no matter what.  _ Why do you love me?  _

  
  


Breaking their kiss he leaned his forehead to hers, and looked into those eyes that entranced him ever since he could form a thought for himself, “I love you too… I always have.” 

 

  
  
  


 

“Do I not have salt?” He questioned looking in his pantry. Finally after fumbling about for a second, he felt something “There you are!” 

  
  


After getting out of bed Dany said she needed a shower, and while she was in there, he decided he would cook breakfast. Scrambled eggs were her favorite, so thankfully he had some in the refrigerator. 

  
  


_ We really did it. We really fucking did it.  _ That thought was all he could encompass in his mind. Could they have ignored it their entire lives? He was not sure. Especially now, but now that it happened… it felt good. The weight on his shoulders felt slightly lighter, and sleeping all through the night for the first time in a while, felt… good. 

  
  


But the dread was still there. Still lurking in the shadows of his mind.  _ What are you gonna tell your dad? Hmm? You just fucked his sister, and you liked it.  _ Stop it.  _ You know this will just end badly, right?  _ I know.  _ Then why did you do it? You’re ruining her future, you know that.  _ I don’t wanna do that.  _ Then stop it now. Stop it before it gets any worse.  _

  
  


“Jon?” 

  
  


Dany’s voice broke him from his thoughts, and the sight of her almost made him stop breathing entirely. She was wearing one his Queen shirts and her knee socks. The shirt covered most of her thighs, and her hair was still wet coming from the shower. He could get used to this. Her being there, using his shower, wearing one of his shirts, sleeping in bed with him, having her…

  
  


_ You know you can’t.  _ I know.  _ So what then? You’re just gonna continue this?  _ I’m just gonna enjoy it while it lasts.  _ You won’t let go, she won’t let go.  _ We’ll have to. She has a full life ahead of her. To be a chapter in her book of life makes me happy.  _ Fine, let’s enjoy it then, monster.  _

  
  


“Yeah?” 

  
  


She smiled softly “Are you making me breakfast?” 

  
  


Turning around to look at the stove behind him, he motioned at the bowl with cracked eggs in it, cheese, salt and pepper “Yeah, I think that’s a safe assumption.” 

  
  


Walking closer to him, she said in a teasing manner “Oh is that right?” 

  
  


“Yeah that’s right. Now go sit down so I can work my magic.” 

  
  


Shaking her head and smiling, “If by magic you mean almost burning the kitchen down, then I may have to leave.” 

  
  


Mouth agape in shock, “That happened almost once. The oil was too hot, that’s it.” 

  
  


She cocked her head to the side “And who was watching the oil?” 

  
  


Losing the argument before it even started, he relented and sighed, “Fine… I almost burned the kitchen down. Now go sit, and watch me  _ not _ burn the kitchen down.” 

  
  


Giggling and walking over to sit down at the table, “You keep saying that, Sherlock, and maybe it’ll become a reality.” 

  
  


Shaking his head he started on making the eggs. He could get used to this, making breakfast in the morning, waking up in his bed, glancing to the beautiful woman sitting at the small table looking out the window… yeah, he could get used to this.  _ You won’t though.  _

  
  


“When were you getting your tattoo?” She asked. 

  
  


“Tomorrow actually. Tormund finally sent the final design a couple of days ago.” 

  
  


“And I won’t know what it is until you get it done?” She said, already knowing the answer. 

  
  


“Yes you won’t know.” 

  
  


“Why not? Like tattoos are important, and I think you should hear everyone’s opinion, because you know… it’s kind of permanent.” 

  
  


Finally cooking the eggs to the right consistency, he put a portion on her plate, and a portion on his. He then walked over to the table and handed her the plate, and she answered with a small smile. Sitting down he replied, “I know, and you’re right, but I know you’re gonna love it, that and Robb was borderline screaming he loved it, so I know it’s not complete shit.” 

  
  


Dany laughed picking up her fork, “Well I’m glad it’s not that then.” 

  
  


They sat in a comfortable silence eating together. When Dany took her first bite she moaned faintly which caused a blush to rise up to her cheeks. She complimented him on the eggs, and congratulated him on not burning the kitchen down.  _ I can really get used to this.  _ That thought wouldn’t stop creeping back into his mind no matter how much he tried to ignore it. 

  
  


Maybe in another life he could wake up next to her for the rest of his days. Spend the morning with her like they’re doing now.  _ That sounds like a fun little life you have in mind.  _ I know, let’s just enjoy this now. 

  
  


Dany’s voice casted him away from his thoughts, when she grabbed his hand and asked, “Where does that mind of yours wander sometimes?” 

  
  


Holding her hand a little tighter, he looked down “Places, some good, some bad.” 

  
  


“What can I do?” 

  
  


He looked up and smiled slightly, “You’re doing enough, you don’t need to do anything else.” 

  
  


She grabbed his hand tighter, “But I want to, tell me what I can do.” 

  
  


She already did so much. If she would’ve left, and gone somewhere else, he wouldn’t have blamed her. She was still there though. She didn’t see how much she helped. She had always helped, whether it was something childish or major. Dany had always been there. Just… there. 

  
  


Sighing, “Just… be here… like you always are.” 

  
  


Dany got up from her chair, and sat in his lap. The look she held in her eyes made his cold heart finally melt into a puddle, just like it was destined to happen. She tucked a loose curl around his ear and said, “I’m not going anywhere. It’s me and you remember?” 

  
  


He nodded slowly, snaked his arms around her chest, and enveloped her closer to his chest when he whispered “Me and you.” 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  


“You wanna know what I love about Winterfell?” Dany asked on their way to Tormund’s tattoo shop. 

  
  


“What is that?” 

  
  


“It doesn’t smell. I mean, it smells, but I like the smell.” 

  
  


He started to laugh, and when she gave him a look, he stopped, “Well… it does smell nice. A lot better than Kings Landing.” 

  
  


“Right? It always smells like pollution, and…” 

  
  


“And what?” He asked with a furrow to his brow. 

  
  


With a huff she answered, “I don’t know, greed? Jon, I just hate that city, you know I do.” 

  
  


“I know you do. That’s why we’re here.” He made a point to wave his arms around, and that got a laugh out of her. 

  
  


It was… strange. Ever since that night it was like an unknown agreement that they wouldn’t talk about it. Not because they regretted it, no, quite the contrary, it just seemed natural this way. After breakfast she put on some clothes, but kept the shirt, and before she left, she gave him a goodbye kiss on the lips. It seemed like they had done this a million times already. 

  
  


Next thing he knew her arm looped through his, and she snuggled closer. It was colder than normal in Winterfell, that and Tormund’s shop was right in the middle of Winter Town, so he welcomed the warmth she provided. They walked the streets together, and seeing it during a cold and grey day like this did nothing in deterring him from his love for this city. It was simple, but he liked that. Small businesses on every corner, the Northerners for the most part were always friendly, and the music scene was a lot more robust. A new artist was in town almost every day, and he tried to go to the shows like he did when he was back in Kings Landing. Those days were far behind him now though. Late nights with people he didn’t know, finding a stranger and losing himself for a night just wanting to feel something… now he felt something, all thanks to the petite woman next to him that had always been there for him. 

  
  


Finally seeing the sign to the shop that read ‘Free Folk’s Ink’ they headed inside. He was greeted by Brienne at the front counter looking in the schedule book. Hearing them come in she raised her head and smiled, “There you are! Was wondering if you were ever gonna show up.” 

  
  


“Oh you shouldn’t be worried about that. You should be worried about Tormund ringing my neck for not being here.” He joked while taking a seat. 

  
  


Brienne blew him off with a wave of the hand and said “Oh trust me he would never. He loves you too much.” Taking her eyes away from him, she noticed Dany taking a seat next to him, “Is this Dany? I’ve heard so much about you.” 

  
  


Brienne walked over to the both of them, and they quickly stood “Sorry, completely forgot, where are my manners? Brienne, this is Dany. Dany, this is Brianne. She co-owns this place with Tormund… and married him.” 

  
  


Dany smiled and put her hand out to shake it, “It’s nice to meet you, you said you’ve heard a lot about me?” 

  
  


Shaking her hand Brianne smiled, “Yes I have. Ever since Tormund met Jon and they became friends you always get brought up in passing.” 

  
  


Dany looked at him, “Why haven’t I met these people yet?” 

  
  


Scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, “Well… Tormund is a lot.” 

  
  


Brienne agreed with a nod of her head “He is. Some days I question how he even proposed to me without making some snide comment.” She smiled  added, “It was nice though. He brought me to his village high in the North and proposed on a cliff side with beautiful mountains as the view.” 

  
  


Dany had a wistful tinge to her eyes “That sounds beautiful.” 

  
  


“It was… it’s also the most romantic thing he’s ever done.” 

  
  


“How long have you two been married?” Dany questioned. 

  
  


“10 years. 10 years and that’s the most romantic thing he’s ever done, I swear he’s lucky I don’t need that gushy romance stuff or he would be fucked.” 

  
  


Both he and Dany busted out laughing with that one. They all shared a laugh until they heard a fumbling in the back “Well, I assume that’s he who we speak of, I’ll go and get him.” Brienne went to the back to presumably get Tormund. 

  
  


Standing in the middle of the shop Dany said, “Well, I like her.” 

  
  


“Oh Brienne is great, she keeps him on a swivel.” 

  
  


They both shared a laugh, and looked up when they heard footsteps “Where’s my boy at?!” The sound of Tormund’s loud voice could be heard arguably all the way to King’s Landing. 

  
  


Finally catching a glimpse of the fiery red hair and massive beard, he rose his hand up, “Here.” 

  
  


Next thing he knew he was in the arms of this massive man, and off the ground completely, “I love this lad right here!” 

  
  


Feeling like he couldn’t breathe, he mustered the best of his ability a “Let go, please.” 

  
  


Finally putting him down, Tormund grabbed both his shoulders, “You finally gonna let me paint that arm of yours?” 

  
  


“That’s why I’m here.” 

  
  


Tormund smiled a huge bright smile, “Well alright lad! Let’s get to—“ 

  
  


Cutting himself off, Tormund caught a glimpse of Dany, “Is this the Dany? The Dany I’ve heard so much about? The Dany Jon here won’t shut up about?” 

  
  


Dany laughed and stuck her hand out to shake, “In the flesh.” 

  
  


“Oh lass we don’t shake hands where I’m from.” Next thing he knew, Dany was off the ground in a huge bear hug that Tormund was providing. “I feel like I already know ya!” 

  
  


Dany struggled to get her next few words out, “The same goes for me.” 

  
  


Finally seeing enough and knowing Tormund was most likely cutting off her oxygen, “Tormund, let her go, please.”

  
  


Letting her go, Tormund apologized, “Sorry about that, when I hug… I hug.” 

  
  


Catching her breath, Dany agreed, “Yeah I can tell. It’s alright though, I love hugs.” 

  
  


Tormund grinned, “My kinda girl. Now, Jon get in that chair over there, let’s get this done!” 

  
  


Walking over to the chair, he took his jacket off, and handed it to Dany, who took the chair right next to them. Hopefully this wouldn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, because he would be lying if he said he took pain well. Tormund sat down, put on his gloves, and asked for his right forearm. Putting it where he instructed, Tormund grabbed the stencil, and started his work. 

  
  


He met Tormund at Winterfell Hall one night. It was actually one of the first times he went out in the city. It was him Loras, and Margaery. He met Loras first at school before he dropped out, and… hit it off with him. They didn’t talk like they normally did, but the occasional text asking how things were, was appreciated. Meeting Loras quickly turned into meeting Margaery, and they instantly hit it off. She had a distinct ability to smell out bullshit, and he liked that about her. Going to Winterfell Hall that night, there were a couple of performers, but nothing too special. They really went just to get drunk. 

  
  


That’s when they met this huge tattooed man with fiery red hair, and a beard that any man would be jealous of. He was plastered drunk and wanted to buy them drinks for his own simple reasoning of being the most beautiful people in that damn building. Somehow he managed to get a form of contact, because he remembers waking up with a new number in his phone. Ever since then they were friends. The reason he hadn’t introduced Dany was… he really didn’t have a reason other than he could be a ‘bit much’, but that was part of his charm, so after today he would assume that Tormund would be joining them a lot more. 

  
  


“Jon, have you showed her the tattoo?” 

  
  


Looking to Dany, he could only laugh a little at her judgmental face, “No I haven’t, I want it to be a surprise.” 

  
  


Tormund chuckled, “Alright lad, whatever you say. Trust me lass, it’s a good one, I drew it, I know.” 

  
  


And like that Tormund started on his work. When he found out he was a tattoo artist the plan to get one done by him was always talked about, but Jon didn’t just want to get anything, he wanted something to have meaning. So he told Tormund any idea he had, shot pretty much all of them down, but one stuck. There was an idea of getting a wolf done on his forearm to represent how a lot of the Starks see themselves. Why wolves? They saw themselves that way, because of how much of a pack they were. It didn’t matter if you were family or not, when you were part of the pack, you were one of them. 

  
  


Then that idea spawned many others. What would the wolf look like, what would he be doing, would the wolf have anything in its mouth, and so on. Finally sitting down to think it through he got a couple of ideas. One of them being the wolf having blue winter roses in its mouth representing his mom. She loved those roses, and her rose bush at home was one of her pride and joys. She said it reminded her of home, no matter where she was in the world, she could look at those roses, smell them, and it took her back home in the North. 

  
  


Now his dad was a little more difficult. He didn’t exactly have something he could think of immediately. Having a wolf playing guitar wasn’t necessarily something he wanted. That was when he remembered what his dad always wore. His dad had a ring on his left hand that his mother gave to him before he went off to college. It was a ruby ring, and she said it signified his Targaryen heritage. His grandmother always wore rubies, and knowing now that they were supposed to signify them, his third idea spawned. He told Tormund, “How about a crown of rubies?” His approving grunt while drawing was all he needed. 

  
  


This was definitely worse than the other tattoo. The needle marking his skin with the permanent ink was dreadful. “Does it hurt as much as I think it does?” Dany asked hesitantly. 

  
  


He gulped, and tried to form a coherent sentence, “Yes… it hurts.” 

  
  


“Jon, damnit, grab that stress ball over there or something.” Tormund grunted. 

  
  


He grabbed the stress ball, and squeezed the life out of it. Dany asked Tormund a question, “You know, I was thinking about getting a tattoo, but not one that will hurt like that.” 

  
  


“Oh lass, it’s the coloring that hurts so much, that and I wouldn’t get a piece like this done on your first go either, but I can draw something up for some time.” 

  
  


“I’d like that. Jon, does it hurt that bad?” 

  
  


_ Yes, god yes, it hurts,  _ “Not as bad anymore.” 

  
  


“Alright, lad you need a break, and so do I. I’ll be back in a few minutes alright?” 

  
  


He nodded his answer and Tormund walked away. Dany then got up to see what the tattoo looked like so far; “A white wolf? Red eyes? Jon, what exactly are you getting done?”

  
  


“Well this is obviously a wolf, it’s actually one I’ve seen in a dream or two. Only I’m him, and I’m not me.” 

  
  


“You dream of being a wolf? And that’s what you look like?” 

  
  


Seeing the questionable glance in her eyes, he tried to explain a little more, “Yes… it’s weird, but when I’m him it’s like I’m protecting everyone. One time I was protecting you from something.” 

  
  


She looked at the tattoo closer and without touching it, traced the lines of the wolf, “So you’re my white wolf who protects me then?” 

  
  


“I guess so, not like you need it.” 

  
  


Ignoring his sentence, she asked, “What are you protecting me from?” 

  
  


“I don’t really know… sometimes it’s this black cloud of smoke, and sometimes it’s a man.” 

  
  


“Who’s the man?” 

  
  


_ I don’t know… sometimes he looks like me _ “I……” 

  
  


“Alright lad! Let’s finish this!” 

  
  


Thankfully, Tormund came stomping in, done with his break. Dany sat back in her chair, held a look of concern, and he tried to assure her that he was ok with a small smile. It went away a little, but was still slightly there. The needle was turned on again, and Tormund went back to work.  _ It’s me I’m protecting you from.  _

  
  
  


  * •• 



  
  
  


Walking out into the city, they were greeted with a cold blast of air that rocked them slightly. Tormund got done with the tattoo, and it was beautiful. The wolf was exactly how he imagined it. The white fur and haunting red eyes, eerily close to what he sees in his dreams sometimes. The blue winter roses were in a bundle in the wolf’s mouth, and the gold crown detailed with red rubies were incredible. Dany fell in love instantly like he knew she would. She took a picture and sent it to everyone that mattered, and if the resounding explosion of texts were to go by, it seemed they loved it too. She sent it to his parents too, and they loved it as well… his parents. He still hadn’t told her they were coming. 

  
  


While walking down the street, he pulled her into a little alleyway. Before she questioned him, he started, “I forgot to tell you.” 

  
  


The furrow in her brow was heavy when she asked, “Forgot what?” 

  
  


“My parents are coming in town next month.” 

  
  


Surprise filled her violet eyes, “What? Really?” 

  
  


“Yeah… that’s why I had that panic attack.” 

  
  


“Jon… we’ll figure it out, we can still keep this a secret right now, but… one day maybe…”

  
  


Stopping her by putting both of his hands on either side of his face, “One day maybe yes, but now? I just wanna enjoy this.” 

  
  


She smiled faintly, “I do too, my wolf.” 

  
  


_ My wolf, that’s the first time she’s ever called you that.  _ I know.  _ You two are already so far deep, you’ll never come out for air.  _ I don’t want to. He stole her lips for a kiss. One day they may have to tell them, but now? They’ll enjoy it, enjoy all of it. When the day comes the wolf will protect her, even though he knows she won’t need it, but he’ll still do it. That’s a promise he’ll keep until his last days. 

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  
  


“Will you stop, Edric!” 

  
  


“I’m just sayin’, if he wants to say something he should just say it, instead of staring at me.” 

  
  


“God, what would Ashara say? 10 minutes in the North, and you threatened to punch someone.” 

  
  


“She would say ‘what was the person doing to cause that’.” 

  
  


“Ugh you know—“ 

  
  


“Will the both of you stop acting like complete children!” 

  
  


“See, Arthur? You pissed off mama wolf.”

  
  


Hearing enough, Rhaegar got up from the floor “Alright, enough! You’re definitely gonna piss off mama wolf if you don’t stop.” 

  
  


Edric put his hands in the air “Alright I’m stopping.” 

  
  


Lyanna stopped him before he could reply, “You better. I’m in no mood right now, I’m too pissed off right now.” 

  
  


She had every right to be pissed off. Their flight to Winterfell got delayed about 5 hours for maintenance apparently. Either way, he called Jon to let him know they were going to be a little late. 

  
  


Arthur and Edric were a surprise for Jon and Dany when they called letting them know they were tagging along, it was only sad they couldn’t get Ashara to come with. She was on her way of becoming a fashion icon in King’s Landing, so she was swamped with work and designing new clothes. He was a little nervous to see everyone again, he wasn’t gonna lie. 

  
  


Jon was on a fast track to becoming everything he ever dreamed he would. Dany was succeeding in school, and her writing was getting better and better by the day. Jon’s cousins were doing great as well, Ned and Cat treated Jon and Dany with all the love he could ever hope for, with him not being there. 

  
  


The plan was to get to Winterfell, have lunch with the both of them, and get ready for Jon’s show that night. The excitement he had to see his boy on stage was immeasurable, he had always wanted that ever since he was old enough to help him strum the guitar. Hopefully, with the delay they wouldn’t be too late. Looking at his watch it read 4:26 pm, so lunch was definitely out of the question. They may have to go to Winterfell Hall directly. 

  
  


“Rhaegar?” Arthur’s questing voice broke him from his thoughts. 

  
  


“Yes?” 

  
  


“I think we’re gonna be late. The snow is getting heavier than expected, and the shuttles are backed up.” 

  
  


Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Damnit… alright I’ll let Lyanna know.” 

  
  


She was sat on her phone texting someone, presumably Jon “Lya, the snow is getting really heavy out there so the shuttles are backed up.” 

  
  


She turned around to look at him and her grey eyes held a furry he hoped wasn’t going to be directly thrown towards him, “Are you serious?” 

  
  


“Yeah Arthur just told me—“ 

  
  


She got up and looked ready to scream, but he put his hands on her shoulders, “Lya, it’s gonna be ok. All that’s gonna happen is that we’re a bit late, that’s it. Nothing to worry about.” 

  
  


She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, “You’re right, but I’m still pissed.” 

  
  


Next thing he knew she was walking to Edric, “Edric!” 

  
  


He immediately shot up from his seated position, “Yes, ma’am?” 

  
  


“You and I are gonna have a chat with whoever is running this shuttle fiasco.” She turned her head to him and Arthur, “Rhae, Arthur, get our bags. We’re getting the fuck out of here.” 

  
  


Before he could even mouth the word ‘yes’ she was gone.  _ She’s amazing.  _ She is.  _ Why the hell did she marry you?  _ Not now please. “Rhaegar? Are you gonna stop staring wistfully at your wife and help me with the luggage?” 

  
  


Shaking his head, he nodded, “Yeah let’s go. Gotta see our boy kill it.” 

  
  


Arthur smiled, “That we do friend, that we do.”

  
  
  


  * ••



  
  


“Well, we’re only a little late.” 

  
  


“Later than I wanted. Come on, I wanna see this show already.” Lyanna hopped out of the passenger seat of their rental car to go inside the address Dany gave them. 

  
  


It wasn’t a large building, but it was still big considering this is where all the indy bands performed. Jon’s band sold the place out tonight apparently if the words ‘SOLD OUT’ over their name on the big poster was anything to go by. The three of them got out of the car and caught up to Lyanna who was getting the tickets. The snow had gotten heavier, and the coldness in the air was biting.  _ This is why I live south _ , he thought to himself. 

  
  


Getting the tickets, the four of them walked in the building. They were greeted with music memorabilia such as shirts, hats, posters, and pictures of famous singers. One of them stuck out to him though. It was a picture of Freddie Mercury at Live Aid performing Radio Ga Ga.  _ I remember that.  _ He was only a kid, but that entire show stuck with him, his entire life. Freddie was a hero of his growing up, and that song… that song had a lot of meaning to him. So many nights coming home from school he would turn on his record player and forget everything. Sometimes it felt like Freddie was the only one who understood him. 

  
  


“Come on, Rhae! I think they’re starting!” Being pulled into the crowd of people by Lyanna, he saw the stage. The first person he saw was Robb tuning his guitar and chatting with Theon. Gendry was talking to someone in the front row, he guessed was Arya. Looking for a gap in the crowd he saw Margaery fast approaching, “Come on! They’re ready!” 

  
  


Not even being able to say hi, the four of them were thrusted in the crowd, and as they were getting closer and closer, he saw the familiar silver hair, “Dany!” 

  
  


Turning around, it was exactly who he thought it was, “Rhae!” Dany ran and he caught her in a massive hug. 

  
  


“I missed you, sis.” He mumbled into her hair. 

  
  


Her arms tightened their hold, “I missed you too.” 

  
  


Margaery’s shouting broke up the reunion, “THEY'RE READY!” Unlatching himself from Dany he saw the reunion of Lyanna, Arya and Sansa. He couldn’t look for too long because the crowds roar turned his attention on stage. 

  
  
  


_ There he is.  _ Jon walked on stage with the leather jacket he got on Christmas and he was wearing a white tank top tucked into his jean pants, and a studded belt.  _ Is he...?  _

  
  


“Alright everyone! We have a special show for you all tonight!” The crowd was already ready for whatever the boys had in mind. 

  
  


“Tonight is special. Tonight I wanna honor the memory of one of my heroes.” With that he took off his jacket and threw it to the side, and revealed that he indeed was dressed the exact way Freddie was at Live Aid. A copy of the studded arm band, a belt that looked similar to the one Freddie wore, everything.  _ What are you doing, son?  _

  
  


“Freddie Mercury was one of my heroes growing up, he entranced me with every movement on stage, and every note he sang; that man taught me that my dreams are worth something, and I’m not gonna do shit if I sit my ass down on the sidelines.” With the crowd cheering him on to continue, he did just that, “I may not have grown up when he was alive, but that’s the thing with legends… legends never die.” 

  
  


_ You’re right, son.  _ The crowd was cheering so loud he could barely think “And one of our special guests tonight had a hand in helping me discover him. For the sake of not embarrassing you guys, I won’t call you out, but just know, I love you guys so damn much.”  _ I love you too, Jon.  _ The smile he had on his face was starting to hurt already. Jon was commanding the crowd this early in his career. 

  
  


“Now! All of you should know this one, so instead of talking… how about we do this thing?!” Jon shouted into the mic, and the crowd answered as fast as they could.

  
  


“Well then… let’s do this thing, darlings.” 

  
  


The cheering was incredible, he thought. That was his son up there and they were cheering for him. The proudness he felt was multiplied tenfold seeing people with shirts on with the name of their band. One thing he noticed was the way Dany was watching everything. He had seen that look before, but he couldn’t place it, because the sound of Theon starting on the drums. Jon grabbed the mic, and before he uttered a word, he looked at him, and winked. 

  
  
  


“I'd sit alone and watch your light”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Music has always been there for me.’ _

  
  
  


“My only friend through teenage nights”   
  


  
  


_ ‘No one wanted to talk to some sullen boy too scared of the future.’ _

  
  


“And everything I had to know”

  
  
  


_ ‘It was the only place I could be.’ _

  
  
  


“I heard it on my radio”   
  
  


 

_ ‘It was the one of the only things that didn’t scream at me about a future, I didn’t want.’ _

  
  
  


“You gave them all those old time stars”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Some of the scars haven’t healed.’ _

  
  
  


“Through wars of worlds invaded by Mars”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Sometimes I just wanted to leave… to go away.’ _

  
  
  


“You made them laugh, you made them cry   
  


  
  


_ ‘Music was one of the only things that made sense.’ _

  
  
  


“You made us feel like we could fly” 

  
  
  


_ ‘It spoke to me, it explained everything I feel without uttering a word.’ _

  
  
  


“So don't become some background noise”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Is that what I am now?’ _

  
  
  


“A backdrop for the girls and boys”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I don’t wanna be that.’ _

  
  
  


“Who just don't know or just don't care”   
  


  
  


_ ‘That’s what I promised my mother.’ _

  
  
  


“And just complain when you are not there”   
  
  


 

_ ‘I hate what I became some days.’ _

  
  
  


“You had your time, you had the power”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I became everything my father wanted me to be.’ _

  
  
  


“You've yet to have your finest hour”   
  


  
  


_ ‘My finest hour was making my family.’  _

  
  
  


“Radio” (Radio) 

  
  
  


_ ‘I’m not the same man I once was.’ _

  
  
  


“All we hear is Radio ga ga”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Some doctor, I didn’t wanna be.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio goo goo”   
  


  
  


_ ‘A man who gave up on his dreams for the betterment of his family.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio ga ga”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Someone who’s still plagued by his own thoughts.’  _

  
  
  


“All we hear is Radio ga ga”   
  


  
  


_ ‘The future always scared me.’  _

  
  
  


“Radio blah blah”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I have everything, but now I’m terrified I’ll lose it all.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio, what's new?”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I don’t think much has changed, I just have a family I wanna make proud.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio, someone still loves you!”

  
  
  


_ ‘Music is still my escape.’ _

  
  
  


“We watch the shows, we watch the stars”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I know it’s yours too, Jon.’ _

  
  


“On videos for hours and hours”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Sitting you down to listen to music was one of my greatest gifts to you.’ _

  
  
  


“We hardly need to use our ears”   
  


  
  


_ ‘We felt it together, every note and lyric.”  _

  
  
  


“How music changes through the years”   
  
  


 

_ ‘How we haven’t changed, Jon. We’re still scared.’  _

  
  
  


“Let's hope you never leave, old friend”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Friends have left, but the people who love you won’t.’ _

  
  
  


“Like all good things on you we depend”   
  


  
  


_ ‘No matter what, you can always depend on me, son.’ _

  
  
  


“So stick around 'cause we might miss you”   
  


  
  


_ ‘Never leave us Jon, I couldn’t take that.’  _

  
  
  


“When we grow tired of all this visual”   
  
  


 

_ ‘You’ll never grow tired of this visual… I know you won’t.’ _

  
  
  


“You had your time, you had the power”   
  


  
  


_ ‘My days of living some lavish dream are over.’ _

  
  
  


“You've yet to have your finest hour   
  


  
  


_ ‘But you, son? You have an entire life that’s equal to a dream ahead of you.’  _

  
  
  


“Radio” (Radio)   
  


  
  


_ ‘I didn’t give you all this, though.’ _

  
  
  
  


“All we hear is Radio ga ga, Radio goo goo”   
  


  
  
  


_ ‘Your mother had given you the love I could only hope to give.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio ga ga, All we hear is Radio ga ga”   
  


  
  


_ ‘We both gave you everything we could possibly give to make sure you have a life you wanna live.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio goo goo, Radio ga ga”   
  


  
  


_ ‘I’m so proud.’ _

  
  
  


“All we hear is Radio ga ga, Radio blah blah” 

  
  
  


_ ‘Your Mother too.’ _

  
  
  


“Radio, what's new?”   
  


  
  


_ ‘My son seems happy.’ _

  
  
  


“Someone still loves you!”

  
  
  


_ ‘That’s the only gift I could never give you.’ _

  
  


The roar of the crowd and a worn out Jon set the image. The clapping everyone did for him, the love they showed him was something he could only dream of. Looking around him everyone he knew had shocked expressions on their faces. Arthur almost seemed he was going to faint, and Arya was screaming for her cousin so loud, he was sure the people outside could hear it. Margaery couldn’t stop clapping, and Sansa filmed every second. 

  
  


Then he reached for Lyanna, and she went to his side when he put an arm around her shoulder.  _ That’s my son.  _ The thought of that made him really emotional. This young man who when he loved, he loved with all his heart, has never judged a person for anything, and was so talented his future almost hurts to look at – it’s that bright. Dany had the same look on her face when Jon started the song.  _ That look seems familiar.  _ He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he only assumed those two had gotten even closer being together in Winterfell. 

  
  


Few times in his life had things made sense. Loving Lyanna was one of them, loving Jon was another, and loving Dany and the rest his family, extended and beyond; but seeing Jon up there made… sense. He was born for this. He wasn’t making up for his father’s failed dream, he was living his own, and that would make any father proud. 

  
  


“I’m so proud of him.” Lyanna said in his ear. 

  
  


He nodded and kissed her cheek, “I am too.” 

  
  


It seemed Jon recovered because a roady handed him his guitar, that he put around his shoulders. “That was for you.” Jon made a point to look at him in the eyes. His grey eyes shined so bright, he thought he was crying, but no, that was just him being happy. 

  
  


“We have a full show ahead of us, and before we begin, I have one question for you… Do I Wanna Know?” 

  
  


Theon started hammering the beat of the next song, and the crowd cheered in approval. 

  
  


_ That’s my son.  _

  
  


_ He’s happy.  _

  
  


“I’m proud of you, my little wolf.” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valyrian translations: Nyke kivio = I promise.
> 
> Nyke kivio tolī = I promise too. 
> 
> Aspo = Bitch.
> 
> If you guys enjoyed, let me know in the comments! I'm quite funny, charming, clever, and witty.... I'm not actually, but just let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> time for that shameless tumblr advertisement. You can catch me over there @CallMeDeWitt.... or not I can't tell you what yo do.

**Author's Note:**

> Well there it is. Now I have a question, would you like to let me know how you felt? If so tell me in the comments!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed!!!


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